Wayne Baggs - A guide to finishing second.

The Green Hornet has had the pleasure of catching up with perennial second place getter Wayne Baggs. While having coached the University team to a swathe of second places, Baggs has never actually won anything, and has definitely taken the Merewether Carlton attitude of the late nineties to early on in the millennium over to Callaghan. Mediocrity is a key ingredient to the formula Baggs laid down to me before taking a one week sabbatical to go fishing.

Some around Merewether and University say it is a case of Baggs not being able to face his demons. Baggs told the hornet that around this time each year he gets a problem with tapeworm. Instead of killing the nasty things off, He lures them out of an orifice with a piece of meat, to use as bait. Apparently the Barra love them.

Mr Second Place, what is the first thing to do when you want a team to be coached to second?Hornet, you have to look at what the second thing to do to come second is. Theres no point looking at the first thing, it needs to be disregarded. All the focus must be on second.

What do you do then, when you have a team that wants to come first? Easy, pick a team of under achievers, of guys who want to come second.

I see. How do you gauge a players ability to come second? Its pretty easy over here at University. We probably have the thickest team in the competition now that Easts are out. All the smart guys going to uni actually play for other clubs, they are real winners. The guys here that attend uni really don't want to work. That shows to me they have a lack of motivation and a lack of a will to win. So I will always pick a non worker over a working student.

Yeah right, What about other players, that do actually work but play for you? A couple of good examples is young Wynny, hes a failed politician. He couldn't cut it so hes nearly always first picked.

you guys have had a couple of good wins against the top sides this year. Does this worry you at all that you may not come second or lower? Firstly, the goal is always second never lower, were always disappointed with 3rd or 4th. Secondly, I'm not to worried about the wins against Carlton or Hamilton. I've put in a couple of contingencies to combat those wins by bringing Todd Mcdean over. Waratah has a really bad culture at the moment and Mcdean is a player on a big downhill slope, so I got him over. I've always seen him as overrated as have most astute judges in the comp. Its working quite well, TmcD has had a positively negative influence on the side. Second place is still the goal.

Do you aim to come second in the minor premiership, if you do, you've missed that one? no, not really, its secondary to the major premiership so I'm happy with 4th.

Is this one of the hardest years to come second? Definitely. With Wanderers, Hamilton and Carlton all in front of us, it will be a massive effort to make the Grand Final and lose by at least 20.

Do you think each team has any passengers and if so would you like to poach any of them for your side? Not so much passengers but I would like to see kevil in my team. He's bonkers and probably would cost us a grand final. O'brien from Hamilton would be another I would like to see play next to TmcD. It would be good to see them walking around the field side by side. Any one of the Delores could play for us. They have a good reputation but are really, really average. Possibly Adam Perkins, hes won a few Anderson medals, but he has been a standout in an under performing team for the last 5-8 years. If he proved he was good enough I'd have to drop him to seconds. Oh and I saw Blake Creighton miss a goal on full time the other week against Hamilton, I'd like to have him kicking for me in the GF no questions about that.

Finally, What is your game plan, you're down by 2 with 5 minutes to go. Your team gets a penalty 30 out in front of the sticks? Easy, I tell Dave Kennedy to kick the goal. I'm assuming he will kick it, which puts us up by one. I then dance around like we've won the thing, which is funny to see as i look like Gimley from the lord of the rings when I get excited, then I make wholesale changes with our colts - not our second graders in key positions. I know these kids are definitely not up to the task and they would have already been knocked out the previous week. The opposition team sees this and runs a few big men at them. They make ground and score on the bell. I throw my clipboard down in utter disgust, waving my hands around, then consoling the boys when the whistle blows. Its quite easy really.

What do you say to James Gardiner when he gets the exclusive after game report? I never put blame on myself or my coaching. I'll probably blame the fact that the mid semester break is coming up and the boys weren't totally focused. Personally though I'd rather speak to Goffet.

Thanks Coach Baggs, Its been a real pleasure talking to Mr. Second Place.