Blubba Coleman - a candid interview.

The style of this interview has been changed to simple question and answer format for a few of my critics who have complained on the style of Jayson Strachan's true account of growing up. Scott 'blubba' Coleman has given me full permission to report his comments this way. Thanks.

Hi, Scott how are you?
Good thanks Hornet. My you are Green aren't you?

Yes Scott, that's why my name is the green hornet.
Ahh..

Anyway, first things first, i have done a little research and heard you grew up around the south West rocks area?
Well, that's sort of true, but I was actually born in Seal Rocks on a camping trip, I wasn't due, but then again I wasn't due for a premiership last year either. My other brothers were born in the surf club at Southy.

I see.
Yeah, thats how I got the nickname blubba, from the seals. Everyone though these days has dropped the L which is due to the fact I had learning difficulties as a child and couldn't spell that well. I had to wear those pink glasses for a while. So in fact hornet you have been right all along.

That's interesting because I thought it was the weight?
No. no, I actually drop weight quite easily. Its my brother Matt who struggles with that.

Is it true in rep season, Tim chidgy asked you to get liposuction?

Yeah it is true, I was already quite skinny, but I guess thats when the blubba taunts came back, but people didn't know it was from being born near seals as well. Tim had this crazy idea that the rep team could star in a personal calender for his office at Waratah as a memento. He wanted me to trim up even more.I think he knew he had fooled the NHRU and didn't have the proper credentials, thats probably why he wanted me in the team come to think of it because of my coaching skills. The calender was a little creepy though.

Where did you find the desire to start coaching, was it from a young age?
Definitely my older brother Darryl,thats his real name, he is my hero, my idol. I used to go around mimicking him until I was about 21. It was hard with my littlest brother grub always craving attention. he was a funny kid, always trying to take me out with a high shot to show to darryl he was the toughest of us all.

Yeah right was there anyone else?
Probably Danny Maiva as well. I played under him at the now defunct Wildfires.He was the one that gave me the contacts in NZ, Tonga and Samoa. Although I think he sold me a bit of a dummy there as only Va has been any good. Hes a cagey character. Whale is also another guy, he gives me a lot of advice and it works well.

Well blubba and the Whale would. You have been quoted a lot this year as saying you can go back to back is this still indicative of your thoughts?
The only back to back I've been thinking about at the moment is when Trav climbes in to bed with me. I make him sleep back to back. I have a cold house.To be honest with you though guys like Mark O'brien have to step up a little, he's living on his laurals a little.We have a South African guy as well who goes quite well, but with Va lending me his right knee ligament in ground breaking surgery, he'll be playing seconds come semi final time.

Is it true you view Sam Gilmour as your bogey player?
Yes. He came to club bubba once and put a hex on he had learnt from his father when he toured the Caribbean with the Aussie cricket team.We haven't been the same, but it explains why the house is always cold.

You have your own club?
Yeah its a night club. I was forced to open it as I get pretty sloppy when I'm drunk. It wasn't a good look and being a coach I have a lot of people look up to me. Big Dog told me he had been going around to Club Selwyn for quite some time, the night club owned by your former club captain Paul Hughes. I thought it was a good idea and decided to steal it.

Stolen a few things from Carlton haven't you?
If you mean the Hawthorn cup and a premiership. yes.

You haven't won yet though, and I thought you lost the Cup to us this year?
I meant last year. Having watched the video again, maybe there was a knock on in there somewhere. Big dog loves Merewether so much he wanted to bring it over and drink with you guys. I encourage inter club spirit. That's one thing surely we have got.

I must say from what I've heard, merewether would rather hang out with you than wanderers, waratah, Maitland, beaches and even Singleton.
Hang out of you don't you mean?

I don't know is it what you mean, maybe being associated with the catholic system thats how you kids still do things?
Well honestly,the only thing that has kept me in the job is that i am a carpenter. So was jesus.

One Last Question. What does make a good coach?
I'm a student of the game, always have been. However I have been supported quite well through my tenure with some good people around me. Its always a good feeling to see guys like tom shannon learn how to pass from the ground and let female players like Torrie have a crack at premier grade. I think I see things that others don't. Who knows, maybe the old boys are right, maybe I am Jesus.

Thanks Scott. You are a true pro.

Jayson Strachan - The interview

Born in Mudgee, raised in Merriwa, moved to Mewewether is how this under achieving halfback has come to play outside centre in a Merewether team playing well beyond its years. With Tim Jivious' nephew, greek boy, James Bertsos finally cementing (or concreting) his spot at half back, Jayson has been left to smell the open air of the outside backs position. Coach Tony Munro was quoted in the Newcastle Herald that Stachan seemed to be happy with the situation, however this exclusive interview can reveal the transition has been anything but easy.

Growing up in Merriwa Jayson actually grew up outside the town on a property called Stanley. The property was named after local aboriginal bushranger Stanley Dingo, a distant relative to modern day TV celebrity Ernie Dingo. His father was an aspiring politician who wanted to do good for the local farming community, so was rarely there as he was blazing the campaign trail. His mother as a result of this had to work the land. This led Jayson to be mainly raised by the wild pigs of the mountains until the age of five. he looks back on this experience and sees it as "a testing time in my personal development."

School time came at the age of 6. Jayson was held back a year by his father as he had lost the latest election and had realised it was time to come home. He saw that Jayson could only communicate through a series of Grunts and Snorts, so he started working the land and his mother home schooled him for the year and he soon picked up the basics of the English language. The kids at school were curious and careful of Jayson and he befriended a kid called Tom Shannon. Tom was a little older than Jayson. when he came home one day and told his father that Tom had signed him up for the local Rugby Team the bumblebees, his dad was proud that jayson had finally integrated. Looking at him in his eyes, diamante stud in his ears he told him "Son, You'll be a good halfback for the bumblebees."

This is where Jaysons story takes a turn. The older Tom Shannon bullied Jayson out onto the wing when he learnt he had a superior passing game to his own. It seemed Tom had made a deal with Satan himself to keep Jayson out of his spot and began to lose his hair at the age of 7. Jayson's dad thought it was better to send him away. The potential was there, however it was at half not wing as Jay was unable to pass the ball in open space. His dad says, "it was really weird. he'd have support inside and outside him but the ball just wouldn't come out of his tiny hands. He couldn't work the land with little hands like that so I sent him to the city."

By the time Jayson had hitched his way to Newcastle he was 16. He rambled from town to town trying to get to the city to play half back. He ended up sleeping in the stands at Cahill oval when he was taken in by a kind family who used him as a boy servant. However they sent to training at southern beaches juniors. It was a breeding ground for prodigious talent at junior level. At his first training session he told his coach he was a half. The coach politely told him that they had a half back and he was good. Inside centre would have to do. Jayson tried to tell the coach he couldn't pass on the run, only from the ground but in Jays words "He was an amateur, and I know amateur having being coached by Tim Chidgy."

Jayson couldn't take scrubbing floors at his adopted family's house anymore. So midnight on the 10th of july a few years ago he had finally dug his way out of the makeshift cell with a plastic spoon he had stolen from the canteen at the footy. He made his way to Merewether and as fortune would have it found a house where no one was living. It was a mansion and Jayson decided it would be his. He wandered the next morning to the Cliff where he got talking to Coach Munro, who convinced him there was a half back spot available with merewether, at least in colts. "He walked up to me, diamante in his ear, all lip and attitude. I knew he was the halfback I needed. That year."

It was a good year for Strachan, making his first grade debut at half for Carlton, bringing over some decent beaches players(he described those left there as deadwood.), and making the Newcastle Rep team as 3rd string halfback behind two half backs who were reserve graders at best. It was here while training for the bench, his spot in Merewether Carlton first 15 became obsolete. "I knew James, I knew he was good, but he is green through and through, and Greek so it was obvious Jivious has got in someones ear." It had happened again.

When quizzed about the current situation, Strachan said, "Look its not ideal but hey at least I've learnt to pass on the run." He was admirable about it, you have to be to have lived a life like his. It also turns out the house he was squatting in was bought by his parents. They are now making up for lost time and encouraging Jayson to become a halfback. On current form he will be waiting a while. With no chip and chase or grubber behind the line, Strachan concedes he still has a few things to work on. He has had interest from the Newcastle Knights, Western Force and Newcastle City AFL."Nah I'm pretty right here." he signs off the interview with his Merriwa drawl, I've moved around all my life, I'm not halfback, I'm not Happy, but I'm hopeful."

Hamilton Hawks Forced to Drink at Waratah Rugby Club

In a sad day for Hamilton Rugby, the pub they frequent, two suburbs away in Georgetown will be closing its doors to them as of next year. The Sunnyside Tavern has reportedly gone into liquidation due to the fact that to many foreigners have been imported into australia under the agreement the pub had with the club.

The club has shunned the Croation Sports Club and elected to go one suburb further to Waratah Rugby Club. They have set up an agreement to drink only in the squash courts out the back where a portable bar will be set up. They will be allowed in the public bar after 730 each game day when management realises that no one from the Waratah team is actually there drinking at the club that pays them.

The green hornet implores the Hawks to return the money the imports took as most of them have proven to be hoaxes anyway(Except maybe Va, who only has one good knee but plays with three.) and move to Learmouth Park, which is actually in Hamilton. Hopefully this can save Georgetowns Sunnyside Tav and it might even help Wickham's hamilton hawks

Welcome

So you've found your way to the Hornet Hive. My number one fan Neil and Bob, better known as Bill and Ted on the much heralded Newcastle Herald comments site has encouraged me to create an original forum with original thoughts. Thanks for the encouragement, however I don't want to play sleep overs and pretend I am the old nurse from All Saints.A question I have been frequently asked is who is the Green Hornet? Unbeknownst to me Britt Reid was the original Hornet, and he was a long distant cousin or nephew of the the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger was from Texas so I'm guessing he was tightly related in any case.

I was actually named as a tribute to iconic newcastle pop band 'Little Hornet,' who were favourites of mine from the days when The Castle and Fannys night clubs were in and skinny leg jeans and Alcopops were out.

Anyway, my identity for everyone to know is not actually tied up with Newcastle Rugby. I'll leave the tying up to Kenton Foole, whom I'm told models his leadership on Bernie Eccelsten, the F1 leader of the world. I do follow the local competition closely and am impressed with the support it has. If I was to hand out encouragement awards to its supporters, you'd all get one. I do support Merewether Carlton though and believe that a club is a family, not a fly by nighter with 2 teams, or definately not a team who poaches players with White goods, a university education, or the chance to wear blue and get all George Michael in the oyster bar.

I am also against everything the NHRU is doing to the local game. They have no idea on growth of Rugby in the area, and its the rubbish clubs like Beaches, Lake Mac, Waratah, Griffins that are holding the area back in its development. It saddens me that I have had to turn to supporting the local Ice Hockey team the North Stars, or even the Jets(once they sign gary wilson from edgeworth.) I am also trying to get labor kicked out of Newcastle as being a Rugby fan entitles me to vote liberal.

Feel free to make some ridiculous comments on this page which for the moment will be uncensored, unlike my fairfaxed counterpart. Lets keep the swearing to a minimum though as my 5 year old can actually read, unlike the majority of 25 year olds from Singleton who were schooled from home on farms