The NHRU and the green hornet have put aside their differences and decided to help the Hamilton Hawks on their quest to help the Samoans.
At this stage it will be via a clothing bin at NHRU headquarters. The clothes will be shipped across within the next few weeks. All items will be accepted, however Wanderers jerseys and speedos will probably not go down to well with the locals.
Please make sure the clothes are in a respectable state. Special mention goes to the kids from Merewether "NO SKINNY LEG JEANS. & HAIR GEL IS NOT CLOTHING!!"
So all my fans, detractors, relatives and rivals, please give generously. The NHRU is also looking into setting up an account for donations also, so lets just sit back and wait for the news and make a wish for the Samoans and their plight.
And if you want controversial? At least it wasn't Big Nige from Beaches thrown out of the plane in a fictional story.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Breaking News: Blubba Causes Splash
They were 20,000 metres up in the sky, flying like the Hawks they were. On route to Samoa, they were boozy. The catholic club were in a borrowed fitted out Airbus from the Vatican. They were the only Rugby club in the world to be fully funded by the church. It had all the trimmings. Gold was everywhere, velvet seats, even a prayer cushion that was made from pure camel hide. They were of course going to spread the word of Rugby, to star player Va's homeland.
The dress for the trip, of course was fancy. O'brien was wearing his Unicorn outfit, a horn placed squarely in the middle of his head. Blubba Coleman was dressed as a pappa seal, Travis, as mamma seal. Harry Rainbow, sat on a pot of gold, the south African was dressed as a leprechaun, hugging it. Everyone was drinking from the bucket tied to Wells' leg. The worst part was it was actually "slops' " bucket. Vaa out, it was a state never witnessed by such holy people. The cabin crew, all part of his eminences personal entourage.
The cardinal in charge was worried. He had never seen such debauchery. What were the two girls "lemons" had brought along as his costume doing. The captain who wasn't in fancy dress but wearing a halo none the less was calm. The cardinal shook his head despairingly. His blue gown shaking with his head. Looking back at the rabble which was Hamilton. " What shall we do captain."
"Look your holiness, its ok, it could've been Wanderers." The Captain looked at the cardinal. He seemed more perturbed by the statement.
"If it were Wanderers, I could of actually enjoyed it." With that the cardinal gave the captain a wink, wink.
"I thought the new pope has outlawed all that nonsense sir." spoke the captain.
"Only with minors, captain, only with minors." The cardinal spoke wisely as if he was privy to all the popes decisions.
"Miners, that would mean, you mean Singleton sir? Wanderers are the ones with the limp wristed line outs. If you get my drift" The captain looked proud of his local knowledge of Newcastle Rugby. He was in fact Italian and had heard of the competition through the ever supportive NSW Waratahs website. He loved how they supported Rugby Union in the country.
Suddenly the cardinal stormed up the isle. "Who is in charge here. I demand to know. This is disgusting behaviour."
The male seal stepped forward and put up his fin. "Me." He burped, and it came out like a seal begging for fish. "We are coming over to Samoa, the land of Va, to promote Rugby. To give to the villages and the people, what Rugby has given to us. We, the Hamilton Hawks, will soar in this plane to the village of Va, who has given us so much over the last few years, including his right knee."
"I cannot accept this behaviour. This Rugby, its no excuse. You must leave the plane immediately."
"All of us?" Blubba the seal was confused. They were mid air over the mid pacific now. all rolling drunk.
" No, just you, the leader, you must be crucified." The cardinal became menacing.
"That's a bit ironic isn't it?" The unicorn O'brien spoke up now."Isn't this whole religion based on not crucifying someone for their mistakes. We may be a catholic Rugby club, but I don't understand your garbage."
"The catholic church, like the unicorn is a myth. Like your whole Rugby game too apparently.The fat one must die." All of a sudden, the cardinal lept at Blubba with the strength of an Ox. They rolled around the isles for a while, until the cardinal broke free of the seal. Blubba ran at the cardinal, which was hard in his seal costume and the cardinal, opened the hatch, forcing Blubba out into the open space. They heard his voice wailing for a while until it went silent. Then a horrific splash, that made even the plane move.
All went quiet on the plane that night. Not for Blubba, but because they new that this would cause considerable damage and wreck millions of lives. A Tsunami hit Samoa and the surrounding Islands that night. The men of Hamilton went on though. Still touching the lives of so many in these tiny Islands. Spreading the good word of Rugby.
So, when we're all out, hanging from the rafters on this long weekend, celebrating the extra day off, Remember those Hawks, over in Samoa, helping with the relief. Helping the people. Giving back to Va, with the same amount of effort and enthusiasm he has given to their club over the passed few years.
Please note that the Hamilton trip will still be going this weekend. If you see any Hawks before you leave, wish them well and congratulate them for not canceling their trip to a country in a time of need. Rugby bonds people together and their time over their will forever be remembered by the local communities. Well done Hawks, and that's why Blubba is coach of the year.
Forward this blog to anyone involved in Rugby. The green hornet will be trying to get the NHRU and NSWRU to start an appeal to help the people of Samoa. Your involvement will only make this cause stronger.
(Blubba Coleman, didn't really cause this disaster, however he gave permission for the article.)
The dress for the trip, of course was fancy. O'brien was wearing his Unicorn outfit, a horn placed squarely in the middle of his head. Blubba Coleman was dressed as a pappa seal, Travis, as mamma seal. Harry Rainbow, sat on a pot of gold, the south African was dressed as a leprechaun, hugging it. Everyone was drinking from the bucket tied to Wells' leg. The worst part was it was actually "slops' " bucket. Vaa out, it was a state never witnessed by such holy people. The cabin crew, all part of his eminences personal entourage.
The cardinal in charge was worried. He had never seen such debauchery. What were the two girls "lemons" had brought along as his costume doing. The captain who wasn't in fancy dress but wearing a halo none the less was calm. The cardinal shook his head despairingly. His blue gown shaking with his head. Looking back at the rabble which was Hamilton. " What shall we do captain."
"Look your holiness, its ok, it could've been Wanderers." The Captain looked at the cardinal. He seemed more perturbed by the statement.
"If it were Wanderers, I could of actually enjoyed it." With that the cardinal gave the captain a wink, wink.
"I thought the new pope has outlawed all that nonsense sir." spoke the captain.
"Only with minors, captain, only with minors." The cardinal spoke wisely as if he was privy to all the popes decisions.
"Miners, that would mean, you mean Singleton sir? Wanderers are the ones with the limp wristed line outs. If you get my drift" The captain looked proud of his local knowledge of Newcastle Rugby. He was in fact Italian and had heard of the competition through the ever supportive NSW Waratahs website. He loved how they supported Rugby Union in the country.
Suddenly the cardinal stormed up the isle. "Who is in charge here. I demand to know. This is disgusting behaviour."
The male seal stepped forward and put up his fin. "Me." He burped, and it came out like a seal begging for fish. "We are coming over to Samoa, the land of Va, to promote Rugby. To give to the villages and the people, what Rugby has given to us. We, the Hamilton Hawks, will soar in this plane to the village of Va, who has given us so much over the last few years, including his right knee."
"I cannot accept this behaviour. This Rugby, its no excuse. You must leave the plane immediately."
"All of us?" Blubba the seal was confused. They were mid air over the mid pacific now. all rolling drunk.
" No, just you, the leader, you must be crucified." The cardinal became menacing.
"That's a bit ironic isn't it?" The unicorn O'brien spoke up now."Isn't this whole religion based on not crucifying someone for their mistakes. We may be a catholic Rugby club, but I don't understand your garbage."
"The catholic church, like the unicorn is a myth. Like your whole Rugby game too apparently.The fat one must die." All of a sudden, the cardinal lept at Blubba with the strength of an Ox. They rolled around the isles for a while, until the cardinal broke free of the seal. Blubba ran at the cardinal, which was hard in his seal costume and the cardinal, opened the hatch, forcing Blubba out into the open space. They heard his voice wailing for a while until it went silent. Then a horrific splash, that made even the plane move.
All went quiet on the plane that night. Not for Blubba, but because they new that this would cause considerable damage and wreck millions of lives. A Tsunami hit Samoa and the surrounding Islands that night. The men of Hamilton went on though. Still touching the lives of so many in these tiny Islands. Spreading the good word of Rugby.
So, when we're all out, hanging from the rafters on this long weekend, celebrating the extra day off, Remember those Hawks, over in Samoa, helping with the relief. Helping the people. Giving back to Va, with the same amount of effort and enthusiasm he has given to their club over the passed few years.
Please note that the Hamilton trip will still be going this weekend. If you see any Hawks before you leave, wish them well and congratulate them for not canceling their trip to a country in a time of need. Rugby bonds people together and their time over their will forever be remembered by the local communities. Well done Hawks, and that's why Blubba is coach of the year.
Forward this blog to anyone involved in Rugby. The green hornet will be trying to get the NHRU and NSWRU to start an appeal to help the people of Samoa. Your involvement will only make this cause stronger.
(Blubba Coleman, didn't really cause this disaster, however he gave permission for the article.)
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