The NHRU and the green hornet have put aside their differences and decided to help the Hamilton Hawks on their quest to help the Samoans.
At this stage it will be via a clothing bin at NHRU headquarters. The clothes will be shipped across within the next few weeks. All items will be accepted, however Wanderers jerseys and speedos will probably not go down to well with the locals.
Please make sure the clothes are in a respectable state. Special mention goes to the kids from Merewether "NO SKINNY LEG JEANS. & HAIR GEL IS NOT CLOTHING!!"
So all my fans, detractors, relatives and rivals, please give generously. The NHRU is also looking into setting up an account for donations also, so lets just sit back and wait for the news and make a wish for the Samoans and their plight.
And if you want controversial? At least it wasn't Big Nige from Beaches thrown out of the plane in a fictional story.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Breaking News: Blubba Causes Splash
They were 20,000 metres up in the sky, flying like the Hawks they were. On route to Samoa, they were boozy. The catholic club were in a borrowed fitted out Airbus from the Vatican. They were the only Rugby club in the world to be fully funded by the church. It had all the trimmings. Gold was everywhere, velvet seats, even a prayer cushion that was made from pure camel hide. They were of course going to spread the word of Rugby, to star player Va's homeland.
The dress for the trip, of course was fancy. O'brien was wearing his Unicorn outfit, a horn placed squarely in the middle of his head. Blubba Coleman was dressed as a pappa seal, Travis, as mamma seal. Harry Rainbow, sat on a pot of gold, the south African was dressed as a leprechaun, hugging it. Everyone was drinking from the bucket tied to Wells' leg. The worst part was it was actually "slops' " bucket. Vaa out, it was a state never witnessed by such holy people. The cabin crew, all part of his eminences personal entourage.
The cardinal in charge was worried. He had never seen such debauchery. What were the two girls "lemons" had brought along as his costume doing. The captain who wasn't in fancy dress but wearing a halo none the less was calm. The cardinal shook his head despairingly. His blue gown shaking with his head. Looking back at the rabble which was Hamilton. " What shall we do captain."
"Look your holiness, its ok, it could've been Wanderers." The Captain looked at the cardinal. He seemed more perturbed by the statement.
"If it were Wanderers, I could of actually enjoyed it." With that the cardinal gave the captain a wink, wink.
"I thought the new pope has outlawed all that nonsense sir." spoke the captain.
"Only with minors, captain, only with minors." The cardinal spoke wisely as if he was privy to all the popes decisions.
"Miners, that would mean, you mean Singleton sir? Wanderers are the ones with the limp wristed line outs. If you get my drift" The captain looked proud of his local knowledge of Newcastle Rugby. He was in fact Italian and had heard of the competition through the ever supportive NSW Waratahs website. He loved how they supported Rugby Union in the country.
Suddenly the cardinal stormed up the isle. "Who is in charge here. I demand to know. This is disgusting behaviour."
The male seal stepped forward and put up his fin. "Me." He burped, and it came out like a seal begging for fish. "We are coming over to Samoa, the land of Va, to promote Rugby. To give to the villages and the people, what Rugby has given to us. We, the Hamilton Hawks, will soar in this plane to the village of Va, who has given us so much over the last few years, including his right knee."
"I cannot accept this behaviour. This Rugby, its no excuse. You must leave the plane immediately."
"All of us?" Blubba the seal was confused. They were mid air over the mid pacific now. all rolling drunk.
" No, just you, the leader, you must be crucified." The cardinal became menacing.
"That's a bit ironic isn't it?" The unicorn O'brien spoke up now."Isn't this whole religion based on not crucifying someone for their mistakes. We may be a catholic Rugby club, but I don't understand your garbage."
"The catholic church, like the unicorn is a myth. Like your whole Rugby game too apparently.The fat one must die." All of a sudden, the cardinal lept at Blubba with the strength of an Ox. They rolled around the isles for a while, until the cardinal broke free of the seal. Blubba ran at the cardinal, which was hard in his seal costume and the cardinal, opened the hatch, forcing Blubba out into the open space. They heard his voice wailing for a while until it went silent. Then a horrific splash, that made even the plane move.
All went quiet on the plane that night. Not for Blubba, but because they new that this would cause considerable damage and wreck millions of lives. A Tsunami hit Samoa and the surrounding Islands that night. The men of Hamilton went on though. Still touching the lives of so many in these tiny Islands. Spreading the good word of Rugby.
So, when we're all out, hanging from the rafters on this long weekend, celebrating the extra day off, Remember those Hawks, over in Samoa, helping with the relief. Helping the people. Giving back to Va, with the same amount of effort and enthusiasm he has given to their club over the passed few years.
Please note that the Hamilton trip will still be going this weekend. If you see any Hawks before you leave, wish them well and congratulate them for not canceling their trip to a country in a time of need. Rugby bonds people together and their time over their will forever be remembered by the local communities. Well done Hawks, and that's why Blubba is coach of the year.
Forward this blog to anyone involved in Rugby. The green hornet will be trying to get the NHRU and NSWRU to start an appeal to help the people of Samoa. Your involvement will only make this cause stronger.
(Blubba Coleman, didn't really cause this disaster, however he gave permission for the article.)
The dress for the trip, of course was fancy. O'brien was wearing his Unicorn outfit, a horn placed squarely in the middle of his head. Blubba Coleman was dressed as a pappa seal, Travis, as mamma seal. Harry Rainbow, sat on a pot of gold, the south African was dressed as a leprechaun, hugging it. Everyone was drinking from the bucket tied to Wells' leg. The worst part was it was actually "slops' " bucket. Vaa out, it was a state never witnessed by such holy people. The cabin crew, all part of his eminences personal entourage.
The cardinal in charge was worried. He had never seen such debauchery. What were the two girls "lemons" had brought along as his costume doing. The captain who wasn't in fancy dress but wearing a halo none the less was calm. The cardinal shook his head despairingly. His blue gown shaking with his head. Looking back at the rabble which was Hamilton. " What shall we do captain."
"Look your holiness, its ok, it could've been Wanderers." The Captain looked at the cardinal. He seemed more perturbed by the statement.
"If it were Wanderers, I could of actually enjoyed it." With that the cardinal gave the captain a wink, wink.
"I thought the new pope has outlawed all that nonsense sir." spoke the captain.
"Only with minors, captain, only with minors." The cardinal spoke wisely as if he was privy to all the popes decisions.
"Miners, that would mean, you mean Singleton sir? Wanderers are the ones with the limp wristed line outs. If you get my drift" The captain looked proud of his local knowledge of Newcastle Rugby. He was in fact Italian and had heard of the competition through the ever supportive NSW Waratahs website. He loved how they supported Rugby Union in the country.
Suddenly the cardinal stormed up the isle. "Who is in charge here. I demand to know. This is disgusting behaviour."
The male seal stepped forward and put up his fin. "Me." He burped, and it came out like a seal begging for fish. "We are coming over to Samoa, the land of Va, to promote Rugby. To give to the villages and the people, what Rugby has given to us. We, the Hamilton Hawks, will soar in this plane to the village of Va, who has given us so much over the last few years, including his right knee."
"I cannot accept this behaviour. This Rugby, its no excuse. You must leave the plane immediately."
"All of us?" Blubba the seal was confused. They were mid air over the mid pacific now. all rolling drunk.
" No, just you, the leader, you must be crucified." The cardinal became menacing.
"That's a bit ironic isn't it?" The unicorn O'brien spoke up now."Isn't this whole religion based on not crucifying someone for their mistakes. We may be a catholic Rugby club, but I don't understand your garbage."
"The catholic church, like the unicorn is a myth. Like your whole Rugby game too apparently.The fat one must die." All of a sudden, the cardinal lept at Blubba with the strength of an Ox. They rolled around the isles for a while, until the cardinal broke free of the seal. Blubba ran at the cardinal, which was hard in his seal costume and the cardinal, opened the hatch, forcing Blubba out into the open space. They heard his voice wailing for a while until it went silent. Then a horrific splash, that made even the plane move.
All went quiet on the plane that night. Not for Blubba, but because they new that this would cause considerable damage and wreck millions of lives. A Tsunami hit Samoa and the surrounding Islands that night. The men of Hamilton went on though. Still touching the lives of so many in these tiny Islands. Spreading the good word of Rugby.
So, when we're all out, hanging from the rafters on this long weekend, celebrating the extra day off, Remember those Hawks, over in Samoa, helping with the relief. Helping the people. Giving back to Va, with the same amount of effort and enthusiasm he has given to their club over the passed few years.
Please note that the Hamilton trip will still be going this weekend. If you see any Hawks before you leave, wish them well and congratulate them for not canceling their trip to a country in a time of need. Rugby bonds people together and their time over their will forever be remembered by the local communities. Well done Hawks, and that's why Blubba is coach of the year.
Forward this blog to anyone involved in Rugby. The green hornet will be trying to get the NHRU and NSWRU to start an appeal to help the people of Samoa. Your involvement will only make this cause stronger.
(Blubba Coleman, didn't really cause this disaster, however he gave permission for the article.)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
One Two Three Four - We heard the wanderers roar.
As my head tries to distinguish between the haze that has been the last three days and the haze which is outside my front door, I can't help but make my mind go back four days to what was probably one of the best ever grand finals in the history of Newcastle Rugby. Firstly my apologies go out to those looking for the Munro exclusive interview. The only information I can give you is that he won't be buying a house in Blacksmiths. I also held back from printing this in the hope that James Gardner gets an award for his inspiring piece of writing on Monday. Its probably his best work. Ever.
Back to it. The weather was perfect, the crowd was big. Probably the best idea of the day was to have the two rival camps, Wanderers and Carlton, camping next to each other. It was good at the start of the day, 920am where Wanderers played Merewether in 4th grade and lost. The poons, with no one else to watch until the big one, then vacated the ground to do a spot of shopping at Marketown, or catch the view of Merewether beach at Strezlecki.
As 330pm arrived, the Wanderers had returned from wandering, and a bumper crowd gathered. It seemed from where we were standing, Rod Scott, had purchased some nice high heels, Dorian Simes a handbag and Andrew Fletcher a nice summer hat, fit for the ladies day, not Grand Final day. It was a bare divide, and the tension was stronger than an abseilers rope, scaling a 400ft sheer drop.
It was a game which neither side actually dominated or chanced their arm, yet, it was still an absolutely brilliant game. Coach Theckett was the winner on the day in this 21 - 20 marathon. Surely if he didn't coach Wanderers he would have won coach of the year. Yes, Dan Keivill was good, but Te Koati was easily the best. He wins the Hornet Hive, Man of the Grand Final. He is Merewether Carlton's Adam Princehorn, and by rights, all three should be the representative teams loose forwards. Wanderers scrum, which was dominated viciously by Merewether in the preliminary game, employed a wheel, that Merewether couldn't counter, making this dominance in-effective. The scrum for Wanderers only started to buckle when the old work horse Ian Gray started to tire after his 20 minute cameo.
Wanderers were looking strong in the first half, then on the other side of the break, Merewether came back and looked stronger. Then, in what made the Hornet look Nostradamus like, Merewether scored a penalty try, which was predicted the Friday before the match. Again Wanderers struck back after the break for extra time. Coach Munro's full time speech to lead them into extra time, "Watch them off the kick off" must have had him thinking, "I wish I had have given these kids there Ritalin."
Then after 100 minutes of Rugby, the whistle blowing, and both teams dropping from fatigue, despair and adulation, there was a winner. 21 - 20 to Wanderers. Congratulations to both teams for an inspiring performance that has made Gary Jones quit his post as skills coach for Merewether to pull on the boots to make it 8 grand finals next year.
It was also good to see some of the Wanderers old boys back at the Burwood Inn. Having played in winning Grand Finals before, these old boys probably knew that celebrating a losing grand final with Carlton, was probably going to be more fun than celebrating a winning one with Wanderers. They knew that there was a suburb to drink at, and non - sexual fun to be had with men who have made a career on mediocrity. They were right. As 100 men still standing at the beaches from Merewether, found two lone Wanderers left standing at the bar on Monday night, celebrating their big grand final win, they were jeered out, to wander the streets, to look for an identity, wanderers all the way.
Back to it. The weather was perfect, the crowd was big. Probably the best idea of the day was to have the two rival camps, Wanderers and Carlton, camping next to each other. It was good at the start of the day, 920am where Wanderers played Merewether in 4th grade and lost. The poons, with no one else to watch until the big one, then vacated the ground to do a spot of shopping at Marketown, or catch the view of Merewether beach at Strezlecki.
As 330pm arrived, the Wanderers had returned from wandering, and a bumper crowd gathered. It seemed from where we were standing, Rod Scott, had purchased some nice high heels, Dorian Simes a handbag and Andrew Fletcher a nice summer hat, fit for the ladies day, not Grand Final day. It was a bare divide, and the tension was stronger than an abseilers rope, scaling a 400ft sheer drop.
It was a game which neither side actually dominated or chanced their arm, yet, it was still an absolutely brilliant game. Coach Theckett was the winner on the day in this 21 - 20 marathon. Surely if he didn't coach Wanderers he would have won coach of the year. Yes, Dan Keivill was good, but Te Koati was easily the best. He wins the Hornet Hive, Man of the Grand Final. He is Merewether Carlton's Adam Princehorn, and by rights, all three should be the representative teams loose forwards. Wanderers scrum, which was dominated viciously by Merewether in the preliminary game, employed a wheel, that Merewether couldn't counter, making this dominance in-effective. The scrum for Wanderers only started to buckle when the old work horse Ian Gray started to tire after his 20 minute cameo.
Wanderers were looking strong in the first half, then on the other side of the break, Merewether came back and looked stronger. Then, in what made the Hornet look Nostradamus like, Merewether scored a penalty try, which was predicted the Friday before the match. Again Wanderers struck back after the break for extra time. Coach Munro's full time speech to lead them into extra time, "Watch them off the kick off" must have had him thinking, "I wish I had have given these kids there Ritalin."
Then after 100 minutes of Rugby, the whistle blowing, and both teams dropping from fatigue, despair and adulation, there was a winner. 21 - 20 to Wanderers. Congratulations to both teams for an inspiring performance that has made Gary Jones quit his post as skills coach for Merewether to pull on the boots to make it 8 grand finals next year.
It was also good to see some of the Wanderers old boys back at the Burwood Inn. Having played in winning Grand Finals before, these old boys probably knew that celebrating a losing grand final with Carlton, was probably going to be more fun than celebrating a winning one with Wanderers. They knew that there was a suburb to drink at, and non - sexual fun to be had with men who have made a career on mediocrity. They were right. As 100 men still standing at the beaches from Merewether, found two lone Wanderers left standing at the bar on Monday night, celebrating their big grand final win, they were jeered out, to wander the streets, to look for an identity, wanderers all the way.
Friday, September 18, 2009
GRAND FINAL DAY - The Match
Merewether Carlton V Wanderers. Having just won five grades, the premier ones, with their backs against the wall, down by seven with 3 to go. They got out of jail in the major semi, can they do it again. Suddenly, a back line movement from deep in there own twenty sees Sam Clifton streak away only to be pulled down ten metres out by the usually slow Luke Simmons. In what looks to be there last shot, Clifton magically pops the ball to Princehorn who is the only forward not out on his feet, this can only be put down to healthy living and good lifestyle choices.
He has no one in front of him, the ten metres to run seems like 100, Simes is chasing him, after being made to look like the french defending the Somme, he is desperate. He grabs Princehorn By the waist, but the momentum of Princehorn takes him over the line, in the corner, with the barest of margins. The green hill, it seems has chased the play toward the line urging him over. Simes is up first. A brain snap? Yes, it seems has kicked princehorn in the head. The crowd which is in the corner, boos and jeers. Al Quaterman, the games new no. 1 whistle blower signals a try. Then a red Card, then a penalty try. The crowd erupts.
Gilmour, who has been shaky with the boot all day, missing 3, is unusually calm. A sledge comes from the token Wanderer on the green hill. He has been giving it to the crowd all day, stirring them like the minestrone soup his mum used to make, his italian fuelled comments have been particularly nasty to Greek boy Bertsos, who after an injury cloud has settled, then lifted his team. Wanderers have played all over Merewether all day, seem to have lost the match.
Gilmour turns to face the sledger."Fifty on it." The crowd hushes.
"Your on mate." Another mistake. As he has done so all year, he is happy to take the money off the wanderer, who now seems as lost as his club with no suburb. Everyone on the hill knows gilmour only kicks well for money. He strolls back casually. Lines the ball up. Strikes it. It is fading away to the right of the far post. The crowd is silent. Miraculously, the swing reverses and shaves the inside of the post. Its shades of Gus in 77.
The ground announcer is drowned out by the noise of the crowd. Its now 27 all, with the penalty to come. Something is wrong with Gilmore. He is clutching his hamstring. Maybe he has caught the condition from Bertsos? He signals that he can't take the kick. Barney McKenzie, the man who has single handily taken the breakdown back, after a poor first half by all the forwards puts his hand up.
With the game in the balance, It was his skills at the breakdown, that willed his forwards to be tough once again. The penalty is in front. Mckenzie pushes Creighton out of the way and grabs the ball. He doesn't quite get these young kids. You can feel that he is of the belief, that if you want something done, do it yourself. He lines it up, end over end. There is no round the corner with this one. It is a toe punt. He strikes it perfectly and it sails over. 30 - 27. Merewether.
The kick off comes to Carlton. Its short and straight to Dan Garner. He hears the siren. He sees the sideline, shapes to kick. He dummies and makes a beeline for the sideline. His body, looking like it has been stung by a bee, gets him there. His captaincy inspirational, by not backing his ability with ball to boot he has won his second Grand Final. The fence is broken as 20 000 Carlton supporters rush the field. Its six from six. Its unbelievable. Its a fairytale.
Feel free to comment on how you see the game panning out.Will Simes really have a brainsnap, or will it be Kevil? Will gilmore miss his kicks, who knows. Will Carltons forwards turn up all match, or will Aston be aclimatised to a 30 degree day and make his men show up? In any case it should be an unbelievable day. Here are the official teams.
Wanderers
1. Simon Yanis - Sounds more like the fourth tenor than an Rugby player. The heat will help him lose even more weight.
2. Nick Watson - "Dildo" must think about his lineouts before his nickname.
3. Nick Crosskill - Will he be wearing his bra today?
4. Rhys hitchcock - A good Wanderers name, however, he is a bit of a mystery
5. Luke Gibson - Good breeding, will be looking to do it for Jack.
6. Rob Aston - Where does a Pom keep his wallet? Under the soap. Lets just hope he showers after a day in the heat, which he hates. Will turn from transperant to red. Hope he takes his brick.
7. Corey te Koeti - Surprised to see the trophey for most Anderson medal points was named after him
8. Dan kevil - "Please come and play Dan, you could have been great." Those were the words that wooed the loose cannon back to the game by coach Beckett(nee Thompson)
9. Warren Randell - His favourite ball is the 'worm burner,' It was also coach Thompson's(nee Beckett's)
10. Julian Morton - The worst kept secret. Nice guy Julian Morton is set to add experience to a young back line.
11. Montgomery Simes II - Can be Volitile. Will probably lose the match.
12. Scott Herman - Tony Hermans cousin is also overated. he even runs the same.
13. Gideon Lambrchts -????
14. Luke Simmons - Possibly the slowest winger in the competition
15. Paul Mlotkowski - From the rich part of Poland. He can run, and is the most dangerous in this backline.
Merewether Carlton
1. Dylan Evans - The 19 year old bully,, has satisfied the quota for Merewether Carltons "two ginga per team" system
2. Dan Garner - Taken over the captaincy and arse from Jamie Lind. Done a fine job at both.
3. Josh Gain - "Metres" gained will benefit from being bald in the humid day.
4. Barney Mackenzie - Wheres the asylum??
5. Eddie Macdonald - The red head was a late comer to the team, contrary to the belief that red heads are double comers.
6. Rowan Garner - Looks slow but thinks quick.
7. Adam Princhorn - The cleanskin enjoys a healthy lifestyle and has recently commited to jode roaches no carbs after dark diet.
8. Lucas Dubyk - The German will be going after the pole.
9. James Bertsos - Hopefully will be the second "Jimmy the Greek" to win a premiership with Carlton.
10. Sam Gilmore - The former nemesis of Hamilton, can now be the nemesis of Wanderers. Has never lost a Grand Final while on the field
11.Brodie Duncan - Comes in for Billy coffee who has pulled a bicep. They are massive.
12. Mick Gill - Unfortunately Aiden Kelso has taken up a post working for Unicef in Sudan.
13. Jay Strachan - This kid is full of himself. Why not, he is a bumblebee at heart.
14. Sam Clifton - He is on Ben Finnies weights program. Will dominate with size.
15. Blake Creighton - How he gets away from playing the AFL kid on Neighbours to play Rugby is amazing.
He has no one in front of him, the ten metres to run seems like 100, Simes is chasing him, after being made to look like the french defending the Somme, he is desperate. He grabs Princehorn By the waist, but the momentum of Princehorn takes him over the line, in the corner, with the barest of margins. The green hill, it seems has chased the play toward the line urging him over. Simes is up first. A brain snap? Yes, it seems has kicked princehorn in the head. The crowd which is in the corner, boos and jeers. Al Quaterman, the games new no. 1 whistle blower signals a try. Then a red Card, then a penalty try. The crowd erupts.
Gilmour, who has been shaky with the boot all day, missing 3, is unusually calm. A sledge comes from the token Wanderer on the green hill. He has been giving it to the crowd all day, stirring them like the minestrone soup his mum used to make, his italian fuelled comments have been particularly nasty to Greek boy Bertsos, who after an injury cloud has settled, then lifted his team. Wanderers have played all over Merewether all day, seem to have lost the match.
Gilmour turns to face the sledger."Fifty on it." The crowd hushes.
"Your on mate." Another mistake. As he has done so all year, he is happy to take the money off the wanderer, who now seems as lost as his club with no suburb. Everyone on the hill knows gilmour only kicks well for money. He strolls back casually. Lines the ball up. Strikes it. It is fading away to the right of the far post. The crowd is silent. Miraculously, the swing reverses and shaves the inside of the post. Its shades of Gus in 77.
The ground announcer is drowned out by the noise of the crowd. Its now 27 all, with the penalty to come. Something is wrong with Gilmore. He is clutching his hamstring. Maybe he has caught the condition from Bertsos? He signals that he can't take the kick. Barney McKenzie, the man who has single handily taken the breakdown back, after a poor first half by all the forwards puts his hand up.
With the game in the balance, It was his skills at the breakdown, that willed his forwards to be tough once again. The penalty is in front. Mckenzie pushes Creighton out of the way and grabs the ball. He doesn't quite get these young kids. You can feel that he is of the belief, that if you want something done, do it yourself. He lines it up, end over end. There is no round the corner with this one. It is a toe punt. He strikes it perfectly and it sails over. 30 - 27. Merewether.
The kick off comes to Carlton. Its short and straight to Dan Garner. He hears the siren. He sees the sideline, shapes to kick. He dummies and makes a beeline for the sideline. His body, looking like it has been stung by a bee, gets him there. His captaincy inspirational, by not backing his ability with ball to boot he has won his second Grand Final. The fence is broken as 20 000 Carlton supporters rush the field. Its six from six. Its unbelievable. Its a fairytale.
Feel free to comment on how you see the game panning out.Will Simes really have a brainsnap, or will it be Kevil? Will gilmore miss his kicks, who knows. Will Carltons forwards turn up all match, or will Aston be aclimatised to a 30 degree day and make his men show up? In any case it should be an unbelievable day. Here are the official teams.
Wanderers
1. Simon Yanis - Sounds more like the fourth tenor than an Rugby player. The heat will help him lose even more weight.
2. Nick Watson - "Dildo" must think about his lineouts before his nickname.
3. Nick Crosskill - Will he be wearing his bra today?
4. Rhys hitchcock - A good Wanderers name, however, he is a bit of a mystery
5. Luke Gibson - Good breeding, will be looking to do it for Jack.
6. Rob Aston - Where does a Pom keep his wallet? Under the soap. Lets just hope he showers after a day in the heat, which he hates. Will turn from transperant to red. Hope he takes his brick.
7. Corey te Koeti - Surprised to see the trophey for most Anderson medal points was named after him
8. Dan kevil - "Please come and play Dan, you could have been great." Those were the words that wooed the loose cannon back to the game by coach Beckett(nee Thompson)
9. Warren Randell - His favourite ball is the 'worm burner,' It was also coach Thompson's(nee Beckett's)
10. Julian Morton - The worst kept secret. Nice guy Julian Morton is set to add experience to a young back line.
11. Montgomery Simes II - Can be Volitile. Will probably lose the match.
12. Scott Herman - Tony Hermans cousin is also overated. he even runs the same.
13. Gideon Lambrchts -????
14. Luke Simmons - Possibly the slowest winger in the competition
15. Paul Mlotkowski - From the rich part of Poland. He can run, and is the most dangerous in this backline.
Merewether Carlton
1. Dylan Evans - The 19 year old bully,, has satisfied the quota for Merewether Carltons "two ginga per team" system
2. Dan Garner - Taken over the captaincy and arse from Jamie Lind. Done a fine job at both.
3. Josh Gain - "Metres" gained will benefit from being bald in the humid day.
4. Barney Mackenzie - Wheres the asylum??
5. Eddie Macdonald - The red head was a late comer to the team, contrary to the belief that red heads are double comers.
6. Rowan Garner - Looks slow but thinks quick.
7. Adam Princhorn - The cleanskin enjoys a healthy lifestyle and has recently commited to jode roaches no carbs after dark diet.
8. Lucas Dubyk - The German will be going after the pole.
9. James Bertsos - Hopefully will be the second "Jimmy the Greek" to win a premiership with Carlton.
10. Sam Gilmore - The former nemesis of Hamilton, can now be the nemesis of Wanderers. Has never lost a Grand Final while on the field
11.Brodie Duncan - Comes in for Billy coffee who has pulled a bicep. They are massive.
12. Mick Gill - Unfortunately Aiden Kelso has taken up a post working for Unicef in Sudan.
13. Jay Strachan - This kid is full of himself. Why not, he is a bumblebee at heart.
14. Sam Clifton - He is on Ben Finnies weights program. Will dominate with size.
15. Blake Creighton - How he gets away from playing the AFL kid on Neighbours to play Rugby is amazing.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
NSWRU's role in Newcastle Rugby
The Hornet is well connected as most readers know. I have recently been liaising with the Waratahs media manager to try and get a bit more done for Country Rugby. Apparently he is on job share at the moment because of the dire financial state of the NSWRU, according to reports in the the Sydney Morning Herald. He must be quite pressed for time as he has failed to respond to my final email.
I have, for your pleasure posted the transcript under this paragraph. There is also a poll for all to vote on at the bottom of the page, to see if the Waratahs should send a representative down to help celebrate the NHRU grand final day. It is easilly the largest sporting event for Rugby in decades, with the two fiercest rivals playing in it. Not since 1980 has this been seen in the top grade. To cap it off for the Waratahs surely they should acknowledge the record breaking 6 grades in the Grand Final by Merewether Carlton.
Waratahs Media Manager
Hi there,
Could you please take me off your distribution list.
Cheers,
Brett
green hornet
Brett,
I certainly can , although I have had about 4000 hits to the site this week, which is about 3900 more than you have. Why doesn't NSWRU want to support whats good for Country Rugby. I can certainly write about your team if you'd like. It may even help get the crowds to Homebush stadium which is pretty much in the country anyway...
Surely being a media manager you are interested in all aspects of Rugby in NSW?
Regards,
green hornet
Waratahs Media Manager
Hornet,
Firstly, your reference to our website hits is unbelievably inaccurate.
Secondly, NSW Rugby supports Country Rugby which I’m sure the Union’s Executive Director and President would agree with. On top of that, I, as the Media Manager am also interested and regularly follow what is happening throughout the Country Zones, throughout NSW Suburban Rugby, Juniors, Schools, Women’s and Under 85kg Rugby.
Thirdly, this year’s Super 14 match at ANZ Stadium – which is far from the country; Homebush is in fact in the geographical centre of Sydney – drew the biggest Super 14 crowd in Australia by more than 4000.
Hornet – I had come across your blog before I started receiving your releases, and will no doubt continue to return to it in the future. As mentioned earlier, I regularly visit Rugby blogs and forums, in particular those related to NSW Rugby and not just Super 14 or Sydney Club Rugby. And while I will continue to visit yours and these sites, I do not need to be on your media distribution list.
Good luck on the weekend.
Cheers,
Brett
green hornet
Brett,
Accuracy was never my strong point, a bit like Kurtly Beales kicking. Hopefully we can both improve.
I'm glad to see you keep on top of the different zones. Because I am a hornet do you think I could get a run in the under 85 kilo match? The executive director and president agreeing on something must be a first as I have heard that, in the past, there is quite a bit of infighting in your boardroom. It will be good to see them both there in full capacity at no.1 sportsground, Newcastle, parry st, Saturday week, to watch probably some of the best young talent on display, in the NHRU premier 1,Grand final. Who knows, half back James Bertsos may even get picked up as reserve half back for your team. Hes pretty rad. Rad is short for radical, and if Bertsos was a surfer, not a Rugby player, he would probably be known as fully rad.
Speaking of geographical centres, did you know Tottenem, NSW is the village closest to the geographical centre of the state? Maybe NSW could build a stadium there and play. They could even invite Tottenem Hotspurs to play some friendlies there to help with revenue.It would probably be easier to get to as well.. Although it is on the Bogan river, and us being Rugby fans, we don't associate with Bogans, so i would understand if you chose not to re locate.
I am happy to take you off the list.I didn't know you were such an avid reader. My favourite Author is Tim Winton. Maybe I could even do an interview on you. Feel free to comment in the comments section. You could maybe even have the handle "Media Baron," I'd like that. One last thing, I am looking for sponsors for my site. If you can give me $100,000, I would gladly put you down for one of my third tier sponsorship packages. Let me know!!!
Good luck on the weekend
green hornet.
It was here were the communication broke up. Although, I do like his politeness in refering to me as "Hornet." I feel as though, the big issues I raised haven't quite been answered by Brett. Feel free to comment whether or not you feel that the waratahs should in some way acknowledge the NHRU grand final and support country Rugby. In no way does this article have any affiliation with the NHRU or its associated clubs. Don't forget to vote in the poll.
I have, for your pleasure posted the transcript under this paragraph. There is also a poll for all to vote on at the bottom of the page, to see if the Waratahs should send a representative down to help celebrate the NHRU grand final day. It is easilly the largest sporting event for Rugby in decades, with the two fiercest rivals playing in it. Not since 1980 has this been seen in the top grade. To cap it off for the Waratahs surely they should acknowledge the record breaking 6 grades in the Grand Final by Merewether Carlton.
Waratahs Media Manager
Hi there,
Could you please take me off your distribution list.
Cheers,
Brett
green hornet
Brett,
I certainly can , although I have had about 4000 hits to the site this week, which is about 3900 more than you have. Why doesn't NSWRU want to support whats good for Country Rugby. I can certainly write about your team if you'd like. It may even help get the crowds to Homebush stadium which is pretty much in the country anyway...
Surely being a media manager you are interested in all aspects of Rugby in NSW?
Regards,
green hornet
Waratahs Media Manager
Hornet,
Firstly, your reference to our website hits is unbelievably inaccurate.
Secondly, NSW Rugby supports Country Rugby which I’m sure the Union’s Executive Director and President would agree with. On top of that, I, as the Media Manager am also interested and regularly follow what is happening throughout the Country Zones, throughout NSW Suburban Rugby, Juniors, Schools, Women’s and Under 85kg Rugby.
Thirdly, this year’s Super 14 match at ANZ Stadium – which is far from the country; Homebush is in fact in the geographical centre of Sydney – drew the biggest Super 14 crowd in Australia by more than 4000.
Hornet – I had come across your blog before I started receiving your releases, and will no doubt continue to return to it in the future. As mentioned earlier, I regularly visit Rugby blogs and forums, in particular those related to NSW Rugby and not just Super 14 or Sydney Club Rugby. And while I will continue to visit yours and these sites, I do not need to be on your media distribution list.
Good luck on the weekend.
Cheers,
Brett
green hornet
Brett,
Accuracy was never my strong point, a bit like Kurtly Beales kicking. Hopefully we can both improve.
I'm glad to see you keep on top of the different zones. Because I am a hornet do you think I could get a run in the under 85 kilo match? The executive director and president agreeing on something must be a first as I have heard that, in the past, there is quite a bit of infighting in your boardroom. It will be good to see them both there in full capacity at no.1 sportsground, Newcastle, parry st, Saturday week, to watch probably some of the best young talent on display, in the NHRU premier 1,Grand final. Who knows, half back James Bertsos may even get picked up as reserve half back for your team. Hes pretty rad. Rad is short for radical, and if Bertsos was a surfer, not a Rugby player, he would probably be known as fully rad.
Speaking of geographical centres, did you know Tottenem, NSW is the village closest to the geographical centre of the state? Maybe NSW could build a stadium there and play. They could even invite Tottenem Hotspurs to play some friendlies there to help with revenue.It would probably be easier to get to as well.. Although it is on the Bogan river, and us being Rugby fans, we don't associate with Bogans, so i would understand if you chose not to re locate.
I am happy to take you off the list.I didn't know you were such an avid reader. My favourite Author is Tim Winton. Maybe I could even do an interview on you. Feel free to comment in the comments section. You could maybe even have the handle "Media Baron," I'd like that. One last thing, I am looking for sponsors for my site. If you can give me $100,000, I would gladly put you down for one of my third tier sponsorship packages. Let me know!!!
Good luck on the weekend
green hornet.
It was here were the communication broke up. Although, I do like his politeness in refering to me as "Hornet." I feel as though, the big issues I raised haven't quite been answered by Brett. Feel free to comment whether or not you feel that the waratahs should in some way acknowledge the NHRU grand final and support country Rugby. In no way does this article have any affiliation with the NHRU or its associated clubs. Don't forget to vote in the poll.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Finals Week 4. The awards night.
"Well I'll be buggered," the words of president Phil Payne certainly rang true, even if he was smiling when he said it. It was certainly the second best speech of the night, after the two time Jack Scott Medal winner from Singleton's prepared speech. In the second tie for the week, Tom Shannon, Dan Keival, and Moese M all took home the major award. Apparently, Shannon could have wrapped the award up for himself after the last round fixture after being best on the ground, however the referee in charge deemed he was not the fairest so was awarded no points.
Shannon probably deserved the medal outright and my sympathy goes out to him. Not only for the referee's inept decision at the end of the year, more because he is bald at such a young age. It was clear that his backside got all his hair when he proceeded to do naked push ups toward the end of the night in the starlight room. It has now been renamed to the Starfish room.
This also begs to ask the question, should the NHRU look at a different point scoring system, where they combine the referees points with opposition coaches or captains. Not taking anything away from the winners of the medal, but for two many years, teams from lower performing clubs have featured in the medal race at the end of the year. The trophy which awards the spread of medal points to the club with the highest amount was also drawn with Merewether and Wanderers. Jim Thiveos' cousin from Wanderers, dressed as a bus conductor was the highlight of my night.
Coach of the year, Blubba Coleman was graceful in accepting his "popularity award." Speaking to him, he was a little embarrassed and said in his own words that Aaron Thompson should have won the award. Maybe the referees should vote on this award instead as Coleman certainly wouldn't have won it for the second year in a row. Personally I would have like to have seen former NSW origin candidate Steve "the Swede" Dunstan take home the award. Just for the Bay to have such a high calibre coach on their side to guide them to last was a feat in itself.
Awards night's are usually pretty boring affairs, but general manager, Fenton' Couhl's speech certainly livened things up at the end. Thanking more people than Luke Kermode, Fenton's professionalism was on full show and he certainly wasn't "buggered" by any means. I would personally like to thank him for including me in the media which he thanked. Hopefully one day I can get a mug like Mike Rabbit, who is apparently also available for debutant balls and barmitsfa's.
Moving on to the business end of my column, I now present you with the first annual "Hornet Hive Achievement Awards."
The Luke Troy Self Improvement Award - Named after the king of self improvement this award is presented to Monty Simes. He wins the award after a nomination from his brother Dorian. Dorian tells me Monty wants to move out of the Wanderers club and play for either Merewether or Uni next year. For everyone this side of glebe rd, lets hope its uni. He is the standout candidate for self improvement, maybe he'll change that pompous name of his too.
The Tim Chidgy Level 2 coach of the year - Tim wanted to award this trophy to himself. The hornet had to remind him that he didn't actually have the qualifications to win the award. the award then went to Kurt Banks of Merewether's 5th grade. With probably the toughest job in getting a full team on the park each week, Banks has once again made the GF with his team of lower grade has beens. Its hard being at the bottom when 6 grades are on top.
The Newcastle Wildfires Team of the year - In a toss up between Southern Beaches, Wanderers and Merewether Carlton, Merewether win by a nose. Thus far they have won the big games, but have to prove it in the big one. Wanderers look like a team in turmoil at the moment, with no no. 10 to take them home. Southern Beaches will improve next year and make the semi finals. However, Merewether win hands down.
The Hornet Hive Player of the Year - This was taken from a poll of coaches who mattered at last nights medal night. Most coaches agreed Jay Strachan was the flashiest in the comp, Tom Shannon the most bald and versatile, and Dan Keival the most intimidating and stupid, however all agreed that,"that Merewether Breakaway" was easilly the most dominating in the competition. All coaches found him impossible to plot against and he has carried Merewethers chances through the second half of the season. Most said the biggest problem was they didn't know who he was. The former fullback who couldn't see, the man who can fix your irrigation as well as your breakdown is the inaugural winner of the Hornet hive player of the Year - Adam Princehorn.
Feel free to add awards or comments as to who you believe are the better players or teams. Yes, Merewether has dominated the first annual awards, but 6 grades gives them the kudos to do so.
Shannon probably deserved the medal outright and my sympathy goes out to him. Not only for the referee's inept decision at the end of the year, more because he is bald at such a young age. It was clear that his backside got all his hair when he proceeded to do naked push ups toward the end of the night in the starlight room. It has now been renamed to the Starfish room.
This also begs to ask the question, should the NHRU look at a different point scoring system, where they combine the referees points with opposition coaches or captains. Not taking anything away from the winners of the medal, but for two many years, teams from lower performing clubs have featured in the medal race at the end of the year. The trophy which awards the spread of medal points to the club with the highest amount was also drawn with Merewether and Wanderers. Jim Thiveos' cousin from Wanderers, dressed as a bus conductor was the highlight of my night.
Coach of the year, Blubba Coleman was graceful in accepting his "popularity award." Speaking to him, he was a little embarrassed and said in his own words that Aaron Thompson should have won the award. Maybe the referees should vote on this award instead as Coleman certainly wouldn't have won it for the second year in a row. Personally I would have like to have seen former NSW origin candidate Steve "the Swede" Dunstan take home the award. Just for the Bay to have such a high calibre coach on their side to guide them to last was a feat in itself.
Awards night's are usually pretty boring affairs, but general manager, Fenton' Couhl's speech certainly livened things up at the end. Thanking more people than Luke Kermode, Fenton's professionalism was on full show and he certainly wasn't "buggered" by any means. I would personally like to thank him for including me in the media which he thanked. Hopefully one day I can get a mug like Mike Rabbit, who is apparently also available for debutant balls and barmitsfa's.
Moving on to the business end of my column, I now present you with the first annual "Hornet Hive Achievement Awards."
The Luke Troy Self Improvement Award - Named after the king of self improvement this award is presented to Monty Simes. He wins the award after a nomination from his brother Dorian. Dorian tells me Monty wants to move out of the Wanderers club and play for either Merewether or Uni next year. For everyone this side of glebe rd, lets hope its uni. He is the standout candidate for self improvement, maybe he'll change that pompous name of his too.
The Tim Chidgy Level 2 coach of the year - Tim wanted to award this trophy to himself. The hornet had to remind him that he didn't actually have the qualifications to win the award. the award then went to Kurt Banks of Merewether's 5th grade. With probably the toughest job in getting a full team on the park each week, Banks has once again made the GF with his team of lower grade has beens. Its hard being at the bottom when 6 grades are on top.
The Newcastle Wildfires Team of the year - In a toss up between Southern Beaches, Wanderers and Merewether Carlton, Merewether win by a nose. Thus far they have won the big games, but have to prove it in the big one. Wanderers look like a team in turmoil at the moment, with no no. 10 to take them home. Southern Beaches will improve next year and make the semi finals. However, Merewether win hands down.
The Hornet Hive Player of the Year - This was taken from a poll of coaches who mattered at last nights medal night. Most coaches agreed Jay Strachan was the flashiest in the comp, Tom Shannon the most bald and versatile, and Dan Keival the most intimidating and stupid, however all agreed that,"that Merewether Breakaway" was easilly the most dominating in the competition. All coaches found him impossible to plot against and he has carried Merewethers chances through the second half of the season. Most said the biggest problem was they didn't know who he was. The former fullback who couldn't see, the man who can fix your irrigation as well as your breakdown is the inaugural winner of the Hornet hive player of the Year - Adam Princehorn.
Feel free to add awards or comments as to who you believe are the better players or teams. Yes, Merewether has dominated the first annual awards, but 6 grades gives them the kudos to do so.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Finals Week 3. The analysis
Winners by Default. A draw was enough to get the merry men from Sherwood forest home, oh it hurts to be Hamilton. It must also hurt to be Sherwood as he is out for the big one with a broken leg. The only fortunate thing is he didn't do it stupidly playing indoor soccer, like Hamilton's Crozier, he did it putting a foot up Monty Simes' backside after he shot his mouth off at coach Theckett after the game.
Getting back to Crozier, Hamiltons back line organiser, Coleman had to contend with a re shuffled back line. This time, no aces were drawn and he had to stick with Paul Dan at no. 10. His decision making skills in the last portion of the match cost them the game. Coleman himself should have put himself in at no. 10 toward the end. Wells, who is brilliant individually, but can't pass, should have been brought closer to the action. Dan became a speed hump for the back row of the Wanderers.Surely all coaches have the aptitude to close out a game which was dominated by the aging forward pack of Hamilton.
Wanderers certainly were anything but winners. A flawed finals system saw them win by default. They have now not won a game in the finals series, and will be in serious doubt with Sherwood out. Apparently his leg was snapped in 152 different places.Maybe they should bring back Jeremy Sergent, former lower grade Grand Final hero, as they certainly don't have many other options floating around in their lower grades.
The game proved to be an anti climax, with no clear winner on the day. Maybe Merewether could play Hamilton in one half and Wanderers in the second half. Maybe they could pick a Hamilton Wanderers rep team to take on the green wave. Wanderers have essentially been rewarded for being the most consistent team all year, and if the game did have an extra time component, its hard to see Hamilton's aging pack being able to get their legs moving after the final whistle for another half of Rugby.
The only ones happy with the result will be the board and the NHRU. The games two fiercest rivals look set to play to a crowd of about 100,000 come grand final day. Townson will bring itself to no. 1, with Carlton having every grade in the Grand Final. 6 Teams and one hill, converging in on the No.1 sports ground. Lets hope the board get it right and hire that same Carlton bus - bar that was used for the AFL grand final at the same venue.
If Wanderers get half the support Merewether do to the game, I will be impressed. For Merewether, there is nothing better than supporting your team, your suburb. For Wanderers, a team lost and confused for so long, it will be the biggest gathering for gay pride since mardi gras, the San Fransisco marches and the village people rolled into one. A band called Ween, once sang - "All the colours of the Homo Rainbow," this weekend, all those colours are blue on blue.
Getting back to Crozier, Hamiltons back line organiser, Coleman had to contend with a re shuffled back line. This time, no aces were drawn and he had to stick with Paul Dan at no. 10. His decision making skills in the last portion of the match cost them the game. Coleman himself should have put himself in at no. 10 toward the end. Wells, who is brilliant individually, but can't pass, should have been brought closer to the action. Dan became a speed hump for the back row of the Wanderers.Surely all coaches have the aptitude to close out a game which was dominated by the aging forward pack of Hamilton.
Wanderers certainly were anything but winners. A flawed finals system saw them win by default. They have now not won a game in the finals series, and will be in serious doubt with Sherwood out. Apparently his leg was snapped in 152 different places.Maybe they should bring back Jeremy Sergent, former lower grade Grand Final hero, as they certainly don't have many other options floating around in their lower grades.
The game proved to be an anti climax, with no clear winner on the day. Maybe Merewether could play Hamilton in one half and Wanderers in the second half. Maybe they could pick a Hamilton Wanderers rep team to take on the green wave. Wanderers have essentially been rewarded for being the most consistent team all year, and if the game did have an extra time component, its hard to see Hamilton's aging pack being able to get their legs moving after the final whistle for another half of Rugby.
The only ones happy with the result will be the board and the NHRU. The games two fiercest rivals look set to play to a crowd of about 100,000 come grand final day. Townson will bring itself to no. 1, with Carlton having every grade in the Grand Final. 6 Teams and one hill, converging in on the No.1 sports ground. Lets hope the board get it right and hire that same Carlton bus - bar that was used for the AFL grand final at the same venue.
If Wanderers get half the support Merewether do to the game, I will be impressed. For Merewether, there is nothing better than supporting your team, your suburb. For Wanderers, a team lost and confused for so long, it will be the biggest gathering for gay pride since mardi gras, the San Fransisco marches and the village people rolled into one. A band called Ween, once sang - "All the colours of the Homo Rainbow," this weekend, all those colours are blue on blue.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Week 3. Final preview. Wanderers V Hamilton
The Hornet would firstly like to apologise for no interviews this week. The Luke Troy incident, has had me fielding more complaints than Austereo. The Hornet will be digging to china in the coming weeks over this issue, but from now until the GF in 8 days, the focus will be purely on Rugby.
A team of sauna loving merry men, versus, a team of old school catholics. It certainly brings a touching, fitting, penultimate game to the season. Both teams will have their final captains runs tonight. The Wanderers winding down with a long, slow, pash, reminding them of the year that took them to the minor premiership.Coach Thompson(nee Beckett), telling the merry boys to actually use the holes in the brick for what they were made for. Rob Aston, the senior member of the squad, taking the lead, with his member, showing the younger members of the squad how to really make love to a brick. If anything it will relax this team who seems to have been on edge the last few weeks.
The Hawks will be making no excuses. After a light hit out to save their aging bodies they will go to the catholic church, as myths, praying to another myth, to try and salvage a season that started out so promising. Va will ask for his other cruciate ligament off blubba, who will oblige after his embarrassing run on in the dying moments of Hamilton's second grade flogging of second grade premiers Merewether. Paul Dan, in this case will be asked to be looked upon as the saviour for this team. He can himself perform miracles at times, turning himself to water, when seeing opposition forwards run at him.
The teams are one all in the regular season. Hamilton has the edge with its experience in the big matches. Wanderers surely must still be scarred from the drubbing they received last year. Hamilton must use this to their advantage and remind a club that has picked itself up in the last year to become again successful. The mind games must spill onto the field, if this side who plays the best ten man Rugby in the competition is to progress for another grand final this year.
Wanderers have the better back line, and will pressure the no.10's kicking game to exploit their broken Field running. If Wells or Dann start, they both kick poorly, like a child just out of an iron lung, when under pressure. Wanderers will have to go wider than Mitchell Johnson's ashes efforts to turn the aging Hamilton pack on its heels.
Wanders discipline may also let them down. Being a school teacher, coach Beckett(nee Thompson) has done little to cool the erratic ways of Dan "could have been" Kevil, Dorian Simes' better brother Monty, the merry Sherwood boys, and of course the ever volatile butcher of Budapest. These guys can easily win or lose for Wanderers in this die or do game.
One thing is certain, Hamilton have been the premier team in the competition for the last decade, now that all Waratahs achievements have been put under the spotlight. Will experience get them over? Or will a weird experiment with bricks put coach Theckett down in NHRU history as the brains behind revival that is bigger than the catholic church.
Feel Free to post relevant comments on how you think tomorrows matches will go. I'm tipping Hamilton by 3. Wanderers can't win the close ones.
A team of sauna loving merry men, versus, a team of old school catholics. It certainly brings a touching, fitting, penultimate game to the season. Both teams will have their final captains runs tonight. The Wanderers winding down with a long, slow, pash, reminding them of the year that took them to the minor premiership.Coach Thompson(nee Beckett), telling the merry boys to actually use the holes in the brick for what they were made for. Rob Aston, the senior member of the squad, taking the lead, with his member, showing the younger members of the squad how to really make love to a brick. If anything it will relax this team who seems to have been on edge the last few weeks.
The Hawks will be making no excuses. After a light hit out to save their aging bodies they will go to the catholic church, as myths, praying to another myth, to try and salvage a season that started out so promising. Va will ask for his other cruciate ligament off blubba, who will oblige after his embarrassing run on in the dying moments of Hamilton's second grade flogging of second grade premiers Merewether. Paul Dan, in this case will be asked to be looked upon as the saviour for this team. He can himself perform miracles at times, turning himself to water, when seeing opposition forwards run at him.
The teams are one all in the regular season. Hamilton has the edge with its experience in the big matches. Wanderers surely must still be scarred from the drubbing they received last year. Hamilton must use this to their advantage and remind a club that has picked itself up in the last year to become again successful. The mind games must spill onto the field, if this side who plays the best ten man Rugby in the competition is to progress for another grand final this year.
Wanderers have the better back line, and will pressure the no.10's kicking game to exploit their broken Field running. If Wells or Dann start, they both kick poorly, like a child just out of an iron lung, when under pressure. Wanderers will have to go wider than Mitchell Johnson's ashes efforts to turn the aging Hamilton pack on its heels.
Wanders discipline may also let them down. Being a school teacher, coach Beckett(nee Thompson) has done little to cool the erratic ways of Dan "could have been" Kevil, Dorian Simes' better brother Monty, the merry Sherwood boys, and of course the ever volatile butcher of Budapest. These guys can easily win or lose for Wanderers in this die or do game.
One thing is certain, Hamilton have been the premier team in the competition for the last decade, now that all Waratahs achievements have been put under the spotlight. Will experience get them over? Or will a weird experiment with bricks put coach Theckett down in NHRU history as the brains behind revival that is bigger than the catholic church.
Feel Free to post relevant comments on how you think tomorrows matches will go. I'm tipping Hamilton by 3. Wanderers can't win the close ones.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
BREAKING NEWS - LUKE TROY ORDERS STEROIDS ONLINE
Luke, Luke, Luke. Newcastle Rugby circles always wanderers how your chubby little arms suddenly grew muscles, why you suddenly went from being a fat dumpy boy to a square jawed front rower. There will be no more woo wooing for you will there? In an article broken by the smh today, it revealed that Troy, the former Waratah and Newcastle representative prop has been banned until 2011 from playing Rugby by ASADA in what was a "lengthy appeal."
Although Troy didn't actually test positive to any banned substance, the court of arbitration appealed the decision of the ARU and found Troy guilty. Troy explained to the court that he intended to use the steroids he had bought over the Internet to help him recover from "injury and as a meal supplement." Was he putting them on his corn flakes instead of sugar?
This revealed action needs to be dealt with by the NHRU. Troy needs to be struck from every single team he has played in while representing the competition. I suggest their should also be an enquiry into the whole Waratah Rugby Club, especially those involved in 2006, when customs and ASADA first intercepted Troy's purchase over the Internet. He should of stuck to searching for male porn to build his arms.
As far as the hornet is concerned, Troy is a grub. It is obvious he has taken university for a ride this year and acted unscrupulously while under these proceedings. Maybe the Uni team should also be looked at for this year to see if Troy has slipped some boost juice into their needles. With TmcD, playing there as well, its unfortunate, but he is now tarred with the same brush.
No wonder he earned the nickname "showbag." It wasn't candy he'd pull out of his bag, that's for sure. Troy has always been talentless. It is blatantly obvious he has cheated to gain a little bit extra. Did he not realise it was just local Rugby?
Feel Free to add comments or news to this disgraceful incident.
Although Troy didn't actually test positive to any banned substance, the court of arbitration appealed the decision of the ARU and found Troy guilty. Troy explained to the court that he intended to use the steroids he had bought over the Internet to help him recover from "injury and as a meal supplement." Was he putting them on his corn flakes instead of sugar?
This revealed action needs to be dealt with by the NHRU. Troy needs to be struck from every single team he has played in while representing the competition. I suggest their should also be an enquiry into the whole Waratah Rugby Club, especially those involved in 2006, when customs and ASADA first intercepted Troy's purchase over the Internet. He should of stuck to searching for male porn to build his arms.
As far as the hornet is concerned, Troy is a grub. It is obvious he has taken university for a ride this year and acted unscrupulously while under these proceedings. Maybe the Uni team should also be looked at for this year to see if Troy has slipped some boost juice into their needles. With TmcD, playing there as well, its unfortunate, but he is now tarred with the same brush.
No wonder he earned the nickname "showbag." It wasn't candy he'd pull out of his bag, that's for sure. Troy has always been talentless. It is blatantly obvious he has cheated to gain a little bit extra. Did he not realise it was just local Rugby?
Feel Free to add comments or news to this disgraceful incident.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Semi Finals Week 2. The Analysis.
Merewether V Wanderers
To see Aaron Thompson dressed in green still looking like Danny Beckett was a site that made me cringe, yet smile at the same time. It was upsetting to see him dressed in former Wanderer turncoat Brent Dale's size XXXXXXL green shorts, which were, in turn, passed on to him by Jamie Lind as he wore no smile. Thompson was wearing a green jumper that Dale obviously stole, as he contributed nothing to Carlton in his time in green. Yet, Thompson still looked down. Thompson looked defeated from drinking light beer on a day that could only be described as perfect. He was the only person in green at Fortress Townsend who looked down.
The day was perfect. The weather, the atmosphere and in the end, the result. Coach Beckett looked as dejected as his brother, only he was in his true colours. Blue. The Wanderers winger who pumped his fist at green corner must be distraught. With two minutes to go, at Townsend, the game was far from over. The game was far from won. He gave it to the wall of green. The wall of green turned into a green wave and Merewether fullback, Blake Creighton rode it home for a perfect 10.
Wanderers were lucky to come as close as they did. Wanderers scrum pushed back further than two Argentinian stray dogs in heat, all day. The only thing that kept them in the game was their counter attack, which was rarely allowed to function with some deft kicking from the 9, 10 and 15. The Wanderers back row which has been hailed in most circles as the best in the competition, looked as slow as Hamilton's back line the week before. Even Carlton's depth off the bench made the team seem as strong as the team which started.
It was a close game, that was in doubt, for 30 seconds after the final blue try. Then youth overtook experience and like a first time gambler, they threw all their chips on themselves, played their hand and came out on top. From the last two games it has become evident. Merewether's opposition need at least 35 points in them to beat these little rascals. Hamilton and Wanderers are the only two teams that have kept Carlton under twenty this year. They both have only done it once.
Hamilton V Maitland
Why would the NHRU want to put a semi final on at this dust pit? Its called passmore for a reason. To watch this game, a sense of mediocrity fell over this little hornet.Its hard to get up and play at this ground. It showed. If only Hamilton could find a decent ground in Hamilton to play at. It looked like more supporters came out to watch their second grade play the day before at the Fortress. Maybe, it was because all good catholics stay at home on Sunday. Maybe, it was because they play at Wickham and drink at Georgetown, it confuses their supporters. Their one season ticket holder, Bundy, is the only fan guaranteed to make it to the match.
Maitland looked half the side they were last week. Hamilton, it seemed played for the occasion, yet they didn't play all that well. The unicorn was back to add starch. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. That's what myths do though. Was he there, or wasn't he? It was hard to tell but the biggest hit he pulled off was probably the high fives he gave out after Hamiltons first try.
To credit Hamilton, their defence was OK at best. Their attack was lucky against some pretty bad defending. The no.10's passing was horrible and he continued to take bad options. Hamilton could have scored more tries. Both teams played like teams under pressure. Hamilton in the end responded quicker. If only the guys in uniform on the hill did the same. Word is they missed two major drug deals, a pimp beating his woman, Some drunk Croatians getting in their car driving home and local hooligans pitching tents getting ready for 'Fat as Butter.'
Hamilton can beat Wanderers. Their tight five is probably better. If they can bully the Wanderers forward pack like Carlton did all game Saturday, Wells may take the safe option and run it himself, score 30 points. The backs of Hamilton don't have the pace or class of Wanderers. The Hornet would like to say Hamilton, to win in the rain in a tight forward game, however, Wanderers to win by 10.
Feel Free to post comments on how you saw the weekends game, and how you see the season unfolding. GH
To see Aaron Thompson dressed in green still looking like Danny Beckett was a site that made me cringe, yet smile at the same time. It was upsetting to see him dressed in former Wanderer turncoat Brent Dale's size XXXXXXL green shorts, which were, in turn, passed on to him by Jamie Lind as he wore no smile. Thompson was wearing a green jumper that Dale obviously stole, as he contributed nothing to Carlton in his time in green. Yet, Thompson still looked down. Thompson looked defeated from drinking light beer on a day that could only be described as perfect. He was the only person in green at Fortress Townsend who looked down.
The day was perfect. The weather, the atmosphere and in the end, the result. Coach Beckett looked as dejected as his brother, only he was in his true colours. Blue. The Wanderers winger who pumped his fist at green corner must be distraught. With two minutes to go, at Townsend, the game was far from over. The game was far from won. He gave it to the wall of green. The wall of green turned into a green wave and Merewether fullback, Blake Creighton rode it home for a perfect 10.
Wanderers were lucky to come as close as they did. Wanderers scrum pushed back further than two Argentinian stray dogs in heat, all day. The only thing that kept them in the game was their counter attack, which was rarely allowed to function with some deft kicking from the 9, 10 and 15. The Wanderers back row which has been hailed in most circles as the best in the competition, looked as slow as Hamilton's back line the week before. Even Carlton's depth off the bench made the team seem as strong as the team which started.
It was a close game, that was in doubt, for 30 seconds after the final blue try. Then youth overtook experience and like a first time gambler, they threw all their chips on themselves, played their hand and came out on top. From the last two games it has become evident. Merewether's opposition need at least 35 points in them to beat these little rascals. Hamilton and Wanderers are the only two teams that have kept Carlton under twenty this year. They both have only done it once.
Hamilton V Maitland
Why would the NHRU want to put a semi final on at this dust pit? Its called passmore for a reason. To watch this game, a sense of mediocrity fell over this little hornet.Its hard to get up and play at this ground. It showed. If only Hamilton could find a decent ground in Hamilton to play at. It looked like more supporters came out to watch their second grade play the day before at the Fortress. Maybe, it was because all good catholics stay at home on Sunday. Maybe, it was because they play at Wickham and drink at Georgetown, it confuses their supporters. Their one season ticket holder, Bundy, is the only fan guaranteed to make it to the match.
Maitland looked half the side they were last week. Hamilton, it seemed played for the occasion, yet they didn't play all that well. The unicorn was back to add starch. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. That's what myths do though. Was he there, or wasn't he? It was hard to tell but the biggest hit he pulled off was probably the high fives he gave out after Hamiltons first try.
To credit Hamilton, their defence was OK at best. Their attack was lucky against some pretty bad defending. The no.10's passing was horrible and he continued to take bad options. Hamilton could have scored more tries. Both teams played like teams under pressure. Hamilton in the end responded quicker. If only the guys in uniform on the hill did the same. Word is they missed two major drug deals, a pimp beating his woman, Some drunk Croatians getting in their car driving home and local hooligans pitching tents getting ready for 'Fat as Butter.'
Hamilton can beat Wanderers. Their tight five is probably better. If they can bully the Wanderers forward pack like Carlton did all game Saturday, Wells may take the safe option and run it himself, score 30 points. The backs of Hamilton don't have the pace or class of Wanderers. The Hornet would like to say Hamilton, to win in the rain in a tight forward game, however, Wanderers to win by 10.
Feel Free to post comments on how you saw the weekends game, and how you see the season unfolding. GH
Friday, September 4, 2009
Fortress Townsend - The secret scripts.
There have been rumours from both camps this week. Rumours that the green hornet has provided motivation for the blue bells of Sherwood forest to come out firing. That the greens don't appreciate my comments and are secretly afraid of the fuel my exclusive interview with Danny B will add to a Wanderers team who have had a week off. Hahaha. If this is what the Wanderers need for motivation they are definitely hard up(not just from Beckett humming in the dressing room). A little tiny green hornet, giving them something to fire up on the biggest match of their careers? Please, if this is all they have come to play for, to rub it in the face of the hornet, they may as well not turn up. They can blame me all they want but it won't take away the fact they will be coming to the fortress that is townson at Townsend. A ground they haven't won at in four years.
Likewise, if Merewether Carlton believe in these threats of retribution they may as well get straight to Jason Toby's Cougar party. It is time for these boys to become men and stop being sissy's. "Boo hoo, Tony, waahh Tony, the green hornet is stirring it up." Grow up. there is nothing better than playing Wanderers at home with Green corner on the horizon 7 points up, with five to go ,and holding on to a tough win, knowing Monky Davis will be serving beers to a losing side, post match. No, don't blame the hornet if things come unstuck, it is your destiny, your luck, and only hard grafting work will get this job done. Nothing the hornet writes will motivate the other team to beat you. You kids who will become men must motivate yourselves.
With this out of the way, I have delved deep into the history of Merewether, and Townson itself to find some century old script, that was hidden behind the wall, in the old dressing room on top of the Green Room. The script is now parched, but along with ex coach Steve Gall, who I believe invented Christianity, helped me decipher the five powers of Townson oval.
1. Townson Oval - The Naming.
Townson oval was originally called Fortress Towns End . The scripts show that the devil once claimed ownership and it was were all Towns ended. This can be roughly translated into Townsend meaning Hell. The name was changed in the early 20th century to Townson as the overlords of the area wished not to tell of its power to those who dared to venture. They lured 15 local french settlers here to kill them, slay them if you will. To this day, coming to Townson for opposing teams is a scary prospect. Hellish.Especially for those who speak French. I'm guessing most of the private school attending blue bloods speak a second language.
2. The Green Room - The chamber
Built on the bodies of the slain Frenchmen, the building has two purposes. The first is the hypnotic effect it has to those who get ready for battle in its underbelly. "The spirits of the dead enter the bodies of those who become naked in its sanctum."read the scrolls. It gives those who fight focus, pride and an unbridled will to get out there and exact revenge on those who challenge them. The evilness of the ground has possessed their spirit. Their spirits will hold those who try to pass at bay. This is translated into modern terms that no one gets passed their defence. I think the Wanderers have scored about 40 points in 4 years at the ground. This is why the breakdown is so good at home. This is why tries flow. This is why teams walk away, hearts ripped from their chests.
3. The Green Room - The Tavern
Those that surround the green room, and its amenities know that the hellish and demonic ways it turns the supporters. This is put down to the fact that it creates a mob mentality, by being built on these ancient burial grounds. Look out if you are coming toward 1000 green shirts attacking, the heckling alone will make you look up. Look out if you are defending because you are sure to look back. No matter how hard you try to shut them out they will be with you all the time you are out there, waiting for you to slip up. ready to pounce. So Blue on Blues, just know that the crowd will be baying for you to slip up. One slip up at Townson and you will regret it.
4. The Pitch
The scripts say this is where the devil himself sat to look over his kingdom. This is why the grass never grows. The scripts say that "those who step in front of him, shall become meager in front of all of them." The script also reads, "His soul still lives on the ground on this pitch, cursing those who don't belong." As far as I was aware, Wanderers don't have a suburb, so they don't belong. Unfortunately, this means that coming to Townson as the modern day Frenchies. As soon as they hit the pitch they will be more worried about losing than trying to win.
5. The Devils Mistress
"Each passing in time, He, finds a woman of pure blood and makes her his mistress. Along with a Man servant, they will do the will of Him and protect the fortress at Towns End." This line is the most significant part in all the scripts. The protector of the Lair, Chris Neader, runs such a tight ship with her man servant Dennis, that since her tenure, it has seen Carlton rise and rise to prominence. Nothing goes untouched and her planning is meticulous. It has become her fort and I challenge anyone from the other side of town to get in her way.
Read into this what you will. All the hornet knows is he is definitely not at fault for games being won or lost. The game is there for Carlton to protect the hellish fortress that is Towns end, rather, Townson oval. Wanderers will be coming here, looking over their shoulder. Merewether should not take the home advantage for granted. It should be a good day culminating in a good battle. Take ownership.
Feel free to leave comments on who you believe will win tomorrow. Personally, I think Carlton will and Maitland will play us in the Grand Final. GH
Likewise, if Merewether Carlton believe in these threats of retribution they may as well get straight to Jason Toby's Cougar party. It is time for these boys to become men and stop being sissy's. "Boo hoo, Tony, waahh Tony, the green hornet is stirring it up." Grow up. there is nothing better than playing Wanderers at home with Green corner on the horizon 7 points up, with five to go ,and holding on to a tough win, knowing Monky Davis will be serving beers to a losing side, post match. No, don't blame the hornet if things come unstuck, it is your destiny, your luck, and only hard grafting work will get this job done. Nothing the hornet writes will motivate the other team to beat you. You kids who will become men must motivate yourselves.
With this out of the way, I have delved deep into the history of Merewether, and Townson itself to find some century old script, that was hidden behind the wall, in the old dressing room on top of the Green Room. The script is now parched, but along with ex coach Steve Gall, who I believe invented Christianity, helped me decipher the five powers of Townson oval.
1. Townson Oval - The Naming.
Townson oval was originally called Fortress Towns End . The scripts show that the devil once claimed ownership and it was were all Towns ended. This can be roughly translated into Townsend meaning Hell. The name was changed in the early 20th century to Townson as the overlords of the area wished not to tell of its power to those who dared to venture. They lured 15 local french settlers here to kill them, slay them if you will. To this day, coming to Townson for opposing teams is a scary prospect. Hellish.Especially for those who speak French. I'm guessing most of the private school attending blue bloods speak a second language.
2. The Green Room - The chamber
Built on the bodies of the slain Frenchmen, the building has two purposes. The first is the hypnotic effect it has to those who get ready for battle in its underbelly. "The spirits of the dead enter the bodies of those who become naked in its sanctum."read the scrolls. It gives those who fight focus, pride and an unbridled will to get out there and exact revenge on those who challenge them. The evilness of the ground has possessed their spirit. Their spirits will hold those who try to pass at bay. This is translated into modern terms that no one gets passed their defence. I think the Wanderers have scored about 40 points in 4 years at the ground. This is why the breakdown is so good at home. This is why tries flow. This is why teams walk away, hearts ripped from their chests.
3. The Green Room - The Tavern
Those that surround the green room, and its amenities know that the hellish and demonic ways it turns the supporters. This is put down to the fact that it creates a mob mentality, by being built on these ancient burial grounds. Look out if you are coming toward 1000 green shirts attacking, the heckling alone will make you look up. Look out if you are defending because you are sure to look back. No matter how hard you try to shut them out they will be with you all the time you are out there, waiting for you to slip up. ready to pounce. So Blue on Blues, just know that the crowd will be baying for you to slip up. One slip up at Townson and you will regret it.
4. The Pitch
The scripts say this is where the devil himself sat to look over his kingdom. This is why the grass never grows. The scripts say that "those who step in front of him, shall become meager in front of all of them." The script also reads, "His soul still lives on the ground on this pitch, cursing those who don't belong." As far as I was aware, Wanderers don't have a suburb, so they don't belong. Unfortunately, this means that coming to Townson as the modern day Frenchies. As soon as they hit the pitch they will be more worried about losing than trying to win.
5. The Devils Mistress
"Each passing in time, He, finds a woman of pure blood and makes her his mistress. Along with a Man servant, they will do the will of Him and protect the fortress at Towns End." This line is the most significant part in all the scripts. The protector of the Lair, Chris Neader, runs such a tight ship with her man servant Dennis, that since her tenure, it has seen Carlton rise and rise to prominence. Nothing goes untouched and her planning is meticulous. It has become her fort and I challenge anyone from the other side of town to get in her way.
Read into this what you will. All the hornet knows is he is definitely not at fault for games being won or lost. The game is there for Carlton to protect the hellish fortress that is Towns end, rather, Townson oval. Wanderers will be coming here, looking over their shoulder. Merewether should not take the home advantage for granted. It should be a good day culminating in a good battle. Take ownership.
Feel free to leave comments on who you believe will win tomorrow. Personally, I think Carlton will and Maitland will play us in the Grand Final. GH
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Finals. Exclusive interview with Danny Beckett
Over the years, there have been plenty of imitators in the rugby coaching ranks. They say that mimicry, is the highest form of flattery. This brings us to one Daniel C. Beckett. A kid from Kotara, who learnt his craft playing 3rd grade at Hamilton, but then defected to Wanderers to have a good crack at 4th grade. He now finds himself as first grade coach to the minor premiers. The Hornet took the time out to interview Mr. Beckett, after extensive research. We delve into the life and times of Beckett, to see if we can put an end to the rumours, that he has actually based his whole life on his own Australian Idol, Aaron Thompson.
Coach Beckett, Can you explain the reason you have a striking similarity to Aaron Thompson?
Quite simple Hornet, he is actually my twin brother. We, as a family, gave him up for adoption when he was five as Dad couldn't stand his crying and his incessant whinging. Having got to know him as an adult I do see where he was coming from now.
This must have left quite a void in your life?
Not really. It meant I was then the favourite, I got to play 3rd grade for Hamilton at halfback. By the time I was 10 I had completely forgotten about his existence.
Why did you then follow him over to Wanderers?
It was around '05 and Aaron actually had a game of third grade. I ran out onto the field. At the coin toss it was like looking into tinted glass.
You mean a mirror?
No tinted glass. I have an eye problem, that's why I have never really been able to hit my no. 10.
Anyway, I won the toss and immediately Aaron started whinging. It was then all the memories came back. He asked me to join him after the game. At first I was a little hesitant, as I thought to be a Wandereer was to be a proud member of a part of the community I was ashamed of.
Gee, are you anti gay?
No, no, I meant lawyers, doctors and businessmen. At Hamilton we were good catholics, so of course I wouldn't think that way. The catholic church accepts everyone.
Aaron went on to win a first grade premiership as a player, was this something that inspired you?
Everything Aaron does inspires me. To lose his family, and then, get it back. He is my hero. I proudly played fourth grade for Wanderers after that, watching Azza play in the top grade. He knows his footy and I would be a liar to admit any differently. I model my walk on him, the way I speak, and now I have become quite arrogant too. I have developed into a good first grade coach and I pick my players who have the same attitude to Aaron and I.
Very good. Is this why you think Monty Symes is such a good asset on your wing?
Monty's ability to chuck a tantrum is probably second to only Aaron himself. I dropped him a few weeks ago because his complaining became almost non existent. After scoring in Seconds the other day and proclaiming to the whole crowd he was ready for 1's again. He should be there come grand final day.
So the Grand Final is your goal?That's pretty impressive after only one year of coaching.
I did coach with Eddie Jones' cousin last year, everyone forgets. Stevie Lee is a wonderful man. Yes, the Grand Final is my goal, its Aaron's as well. There is nobody that can beat the blue on blues this year. We are really behind each other to get through this.
Are you afraid of the rumours that Aaron will turn his hand to coaching next year if you fail?
I haven't heard those rumours. I don't think Aaron would do that to me. He has made me look so professional from behind the scenes with ideas such as 'the brick,' bringing the merry Sherwood boys into the team, tongue kissing before training, the list goes on. No Aaron wouldn't do that.
You mean Tongue Lashings?
No I mean kissing. Well, Aaron didn't really bring it in, he just reinvented an old tradition. Rob Aston, initially refused, but now he's getting into all the boys. He's a man possessed, when it comes to sharing that big butchers tongue of his. Its got all the club excited. That's why we have so many of the older guys back in second grade. Its even carried over to the recovery and sauna sessions we hold.
We may have to wrap it up there. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Not really. It should be a romp in King Edward Park for us though.
Thanks for that Aaron, I mean Dan.
Please call me Danny.
Coach Beckett, Can you explain the reason you have a striking similarity to Aaron Thompson?
Quite simple Hornet, he is actually my twin brother. We, as a family, gave him up for adoption when he was five as Dad couldn't stand his crying and his incessant whinging. Having got to know him as an adult I do see where he was coming from now.
This must have left quite a void in your life?
Not really. It meant I was then the favourite, I got to play 3rd grade for Hamilton at halfback. By the time I was 10 I had completely forgotten about his existence.
Why did you then follow him over to Wanderers?
It was around '05 and Aaron actually had a game of third grade. I ran out onto the field. At the coin toss it was like looking into tinted glass.
You mean a mirror?
No tinted glass. I have an eye problem, that's why I have never really been able to hit my no. 10.
Anyway, I won the toss and immediately Aaron started whinging. It was then all the memories came back. He asked me to join him after the game. At first I was a little hesitant, as I thought to be a Wandereer was to be a proud member of a part of the community I was ashamed of.
Gee, are you anti gay?
No, no, I meant lawyers, doctors and businessmen. At Hamilton we were good catholics, so of course I wouldn't think that way. The catholic church accepts everyone.
Aaron went on to win a first grade premiership as a player, was this something that inspired you?
Everything Aaron does inspires me. To lose his family, and then, get it back. He is my hero. I proudly played fourth grade for Wanderers after that, watching Azza play in the top grade. He knows his footy and I would be a liar to admit any differently. I model my walk on him, the way I speak, and now I have become quite arrogant too. I have developed into a good first grade coach and I pick my players who have the same attitude to Aaron and I.
Very good. Is this why you think Monty Symes is such a good asset on your wing?
Monty's ability to chuck a tantrum is probably second to only Aaron himself. I dropped him a few weeks ago because his complaining became almost non existent. After scoring in Seconds the other day and proclaiming to the whole crowd he was ready for 1's again. He should be there come grand final day.
So the Grand Final is your goal?That's pretty impressive after only one year of coaching.
I did coach with Eddie Jones' cousin last year, everyone forgets. Stevie Lee is a wonderful man. Yes, the Grand Final is my goal, its Aaron's as well. There is nobody that can beat the blue on blues this year. We are really behind each other to get through this.
Are you afraid of the rumours that Aaron will turn his hand to coaching next year if you fail?
I haven't heard those rumours. I don't think Aaron would do that to me. He has made me look so professional from behind the scenes with ideas such as 'the brick,' bringing the merry Sherwood boys into the team, tongue kissing before training, the list goes on. No Aaron wouldn't do that.
You mean Tongue Lashings?
No I mean kissing. Well, Aaron didn't really bring it in, he just reinvented an old tradition. Rob Aston, initially refused, but now he's getting into all the boys. He's a man possessed, when it comes to sharing that big butchers tongue of his. Its got all the club excited. That's why we have so many of the older guys back in second grade. Its even carried over to the recovery and sauna sessions we hold.
We may have to wrap it up there. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Not really. It should be a romp in King Edward Park for us though.
Thanks for that Aaron, I mean Dan.
Please call me Danny.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Finals - Week 1. The Analysis
Merewether were good, Hamilton were hopeless, Maitland played above the weight of their two fat front rowers, and uni was more disappointed at not getting to second place, Again.
The young legs of Merewether got them home and Hamilton were really only ever in it for the second grade game. If Blubba was any sort of a coach he'd make the second side play on Saturday at 2:15 against the greens and make them turn out again on Sunday against Maitland. Al Quatermans Rolex was the only thing with a ticker out on the field on Saturday for Hamilton. The referee actually played a backing singers role in what Merewether turned into a second rate match. This is unusually surprising, considering his whistle is normally so loud and inconsistent it has been likened to the chord progression in a sex pistols punk song.
I had made mention that the Hamilton players were now to old to pick up older women at the exchange, as they were in the same age bracket. I wonder if their old legs got them to the Reeves' retirement home bingo night on Gordon ave after their loss. They looked old, tired and over it on the weekend. Even their young half back is bald, I think this contributed to his poor service to Wells, who in turn couldn't pass a parked car on the weekend. The greens to their credit must have found Theo's new shop at Georgetown and realised that it wasn't really a suburb where actual Rugby players would drink. All of sudden the breakdown was fixed.
Merewether were easily two classes above the Hawks. a good example of this is James Bertsos tearing his hamstring from the bone, yet completing the game and carving the opposition. He was the third best on the park behind Princehorn and Dan Garner. If anything, they showed Maitland that they will be able to easily dominate this team next week. Hamilton need to pick up some speed in the outside backs if they want to threaten this year. Maybe Blubba could walk the strip at Islington to find some, because the team they presented on the weekend had none in them. They were 'hexham' poor.
Maitland on the other hand started to show why the great Jimmy Gardner rated them number one at the start of the year.They showed why Dave Kennedy is probably the worst defensive player in the game and he made several errors of judgement. It was probably his fault they lost the game. Some supporters on the mound, even heard him yelp when the opposition came close. Uni will be disappointed they will not get to compete for second place again this year. They probably deserved to come third, but Maitland definitely surprised them and out muscled them in all areas of the park. They were more impressive than Hamilton and should beat them on Sunday.
I'm also of the belief that Wanderers have played their best game of the semis this week. The momentum they built during the season has stopped and this weekend may as well be round one for them. We all know what happened in Round 1 at Townsen Oval.
Feel free to add more. Give me predictions,form guides, and favourite players, just don't give me any more rubbish about the unicorn.
The young legs of Merewether got them home and Hamilton were really only ever in it for the second grade game. If Blubba was any sort of a coach he'd make the second side play on Saturday at 2:15 against the greens and make them turn out again on Sunday against Maitland. Al Quatermans Rolex was the only thing with a ticker out on the field on Saturday for Hamilton. The referee actually played a backing singers role in what Merewether turned into a second rate match. This is unusually surprising, considering his whistle is normally so loud and inconsistent it has been likened to the chord progression in a sex pistols punk song.
I had made mention that the Hamilton players were now to old to pick up older women at the exchange, as they were in the same age bracket. I wonder if their old legs got them to the Reeves' retirement home bingo night on Gordon ave after their loss. They looked old, tired and over it on the weekend. Even their young half back is bald, I think this contributed to his poor service to Wells, who in turn couldn't pass a parked car on the weekend. The greens to their credit must have found Theo's new shop at Georgetown and realised that it wasn't really a suburb where actual Rugby players would drink. All of sudden the breakdown was fixed.
Merewether were easily two classes above the Hawks. a good example of this is James Bertsos tearing his hamstring from the bone, yet completing the game and carving the opposition. He was the third best on the park behind Princehorn and Dan Garner. If anything, they showed Maitland that they will be able to easily dominate this team next week. Hamilton need to pick up some speed in the outside backs if they want to threaten this year. Maybe Blubba could walk the strip at Islington to find some, because the team they presented on the weekend had none in them. They were 'hexham' poor.
Maitland on the other hand started to show why the great Jimmy Gardner rated them number one at the start of the year.They showed why Dave Kennedy is probably the worst defensive player in the game and he made several errors of judgement. It was probably his fault they lost the game. Some supporters on the mound, even heard him yelp when the opposition came close. Uni will be disappointed they will not get to compete for second place again this year. They probably deserved to come third, but Maitland definitely surprised them and out muscled them in all areas of the park. They were more impressive than Hamilton and should beat them on Sunday.
I'm also of the belief that Wanderers have played their best game of the semis this week. The momentum they built during the season has stopped and this weekend may as well be round one for them. We all know what happened in Round 1 at Townsen Oval.
Feel free to add more. Give me predictions,form guides, and favourite players, just don't give me any more rubbish about the unicorn.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Semi Finals - How the teams can lose.
Finally the semi final series is upon us. The deadwood is gone. Teams like Waratah, Southern Beaches, Singleton and Nelson Bay can no longer be written about in scorn because they have become even more irrelevant to the NHRU competition. Five teams are left. All teams have beaten a team in the five. It makes for an interesting series.
Instead of concentrating this article on where the finals series can be won, we must look at where the teams can lose out. Each team knows its opponents danger men. Has each team covered its own weaknesses? Maybe, maybe not. The hornet, however, has been studying these teams, and has found out exactly where they can lose the premiership for the '09 season.
Wanderers
The two blues have been the stand out team of the season. I'm not here to focus on that.Their biggest problem is that they are all pretty much focused on their end of season trip to San Fransisco. The rumour is that Aaron Thompson has organised this in the hope they lose the Grand Final. He of all people, know that a trip to the latex capital of the world, will take some players minds off the job and onto another. Thompson has arranged this so he can secure the coaching position for next year, in front of coach Beckett. This plan may misfire for him. If Wanderers do lose because of this outside distraction, I don't think they will look at another mediocre halfback coaching their first team next year. Everyone is thinking Sherwood's, it is unfortunate though that the sherwoods will be thinking of their 'Merry' Men.
Merewether Carlton
If only Theo's was still open in Llewellyn St. He could fix any breakdown. After blooding 152 players in first grade this year Merewether Carlton has become quite inconsistent at the breakdown. This is where they will lose the game. This is probably the only fault in their game at the moment. It is a credit to them, to be where they are as they have turned the ball over more times than the 600+ points they have put on the board.
Hamilton
The only thing keeping them in the top 3 was Blubba Coleman's coaching. They will not win a line out this weekend as the current South African hooker apparently hates playing on the same ground as the blacks. This will put them on an uphill battle to win their remaining games. While most teams frequent hip spots after the games like King St or Fanny's, the Hamilton forwards find themselves getting knocked back by 40 year olds at the exchange, they are that old. Their style of 10 man Rugby, while outdated, has got them this far. It got them close in 2007, It won it for them in '08, it might get them to 4th this year.
University
They want to come second so there's not much point commenting.
Maitland
This side still sits on the cusp of mediocrity. Yes they have 3 time Anderson medal winner Adam Perkins. He has been a standout in a bad team for a long time. Why isn't there a simple top 4?The referees must really know a lot about Rugby. Especially Al Quaterman. Who incidentally, will probably take it upon himself to change most of the finals matches anyway. Apparently he loves a fairytale, lets hope he referees second grade again. Back to Maitland though, thier backs are to slow to compete with the top two sides and this will see them lose. Convincingly. Again, why isn't there a top 4?
Feel free to express your opinions on how the series will pan out!!
Instead of concentrating this article on where the finals series can be won, we must look at where the teams can lose out. Each team knows its opponents danger men. Has each team covered its own weaknesses? Maybe, maybe not. The hornet, however, has been studying these teams, and has found out exactly where they can lose the premiership for the '09 season.
Wanderers
The two blues have been the stand out team of the season. I'm not here to focus on that.Their biggest problem is that they are all pretty much focused on their end of season trip to San Fransisco. The rumour is that Aaron Thompson has organised this in the hope they lose the Grand Final. He of all people, know that a trip to the latex capital of the world, will take some players minds off the job and onto another. Thompson has arranged this so he can secure the coaching position for next year, in front of coach Beckett. This plan may misfire for him. If Wanderers do lose because of this outside distraction, I don't think they will look at another mediocre halfback coaching their first team next year. Everyone is thinking Sherwood's, it is unfortunate though that the sherwoods will be thinking of their 'Merry' Men.
Merewether Carlton
If only Theo's was still open in Llewellyn St. He could fix any breakdown. After blooding 152 players in first grade this year Merewether Carlton has become quite inconsistent at the breakdown. This is where they will lose the game. This is probably the only fault in their game at the moment. It is a credit to them, to be where they are as they have turned the ball over more times than the 600+ points they have put on the board.
Hamilton
The only thing keeping them in the top 3 was Blubba Coleman's coaching. They will not win a line out this weekend as the current South African hooker apparently hates playing on the same ground as the blacks. This will put them on an uphill battle to win their remaining games. While most teams frequent hip spots after the games like King St or Fanny's, the Hamilton forwards find themselves getting knocked back by 40 year olds at the exchange, they are that old. Their style of 10 man Rugby, while outdated, has got them this far. It got them close in 2007, It won it for them in '08, it might get them to 4th this year.
University
They want to come second so there's not much point commenting.
Maitland
This side still sits on the cusp of mediocrity. Yes they have 3 time Anderson medal winner Adam Perkins. He has been a standout in a bad team for a long time. Why isn't there a simple top 4?The referees must really know a lot about Rugby. Especially Al Quaterman. Who incidentally, will probably take it upon himself to change most of the finals matches anyway. Apparently he loves a fairytale, lets hope he referees second grade again. Back to Maitland though, thier backs are to slow to compete with the top two sides and this will see them lose. Convincingly. Again, why isn't there a top 4?
Feel free to express your opinions on how the series will pan out!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Peter Fitzsimons Chronicles - the interview
Peter Fitzsimons - The Interview
Ah, Hi Peter, you certainly are a hard man to get hold of?
That’s what the wife says Hornet. You know my nick name in France was “baguette de pain rassis.”
Is that French?
Yes, I just said that. it means the Stale Baguette. It’s because after a few days over there they found I went hard.
OK, I’m sure that’s what it meant. Did the baguette come with cheese?
Of course not, I was cheese free in France. I’ve never been into dairy really. Growing up on an orange farm, we pretty much had orange juice to replace milk. Dad even made us have orange juice on our oranges for breakfast.
That’s right; you grew up on an orchard in Peats Ridge. What was it like for you to grow up knowing you had a ridge named after you?
Firstly it was an orange farm, it was hard, I started working on it when I was 5, dad made me get a real job when I was 12 at the servo as I was picking 2 and eating one. Also Contrary to what people think Peats ridge wasn’t named after me. My name was actually Patrick but Dad changed it because of the jokes that the boys would say to me at school.
Really, what were they?
I’d rather not say. Old demons.
Come on let me know?
You know the old joke about Patrick Fitzsimons and Simon Fitzpatricks. The one about the two gay Irishmen. Back then people didn’t realise and they probably still don’t that the name Fitzsimons is a proud one and originates from the Strongbow invasion. It’s patronymic. And the Fitz means son of.
I see. Is that why Mike Carlton didn’t take to you straight away, being related to Strongbow?
No, the reason Mike Carlton didn’t take to me is because he was probably worried that I was a little more articulate than him. You’d have to ask him but we had a good relationship in the end. Alan Jones was flogging us though. Sure he bragged about it, but it’s not the first time he’s bragged about flogging two men. But hey, I live my life and do what makes me happy, don’t know if he totally does.
Sure. Getting back to your Childhood, you attended Knox Grammar. What was it like?
Like most people that went there I am gracious to my family for working so hard to get me there. I had worked a t a petrol station since I was 12 so I paid for my books. It was surprising though to see when I got there that they fed the boys a lot of oranges, so it was just like home.
Later on in Life you went on to represent Australia in test match Rugby. Was Rugby what you lived for?
Ironically the teachers at Knox had instilled in me that this had better be my focus. I was in the dramatic society but the only thing dramatic about me was that I was over six foot, hairy on my face and already thinning on the top. Some teachers even said I couldn’t write, however, the letters I wrote to my mother, to tell her I missed her, where the inspiration that started me on my journey to get to where I am today. I didn’t really live for it, however I am proud that I could have gone toe to toe with 15 all blacks with the referee sending me off citing my play as “too dangerous.” I’d love to play with the pussies that play these days.
Pussies? Who would you consider being a pussy in World Rugby today?
The entire South African team is one. They may be big, but they are simply bullies. You can’t run without a head. Rocky Elsom, is one. Anyone with a name Rocky better know how to shape up to me. The English front row. Why they harp on about their scrum is a mystery to me. I would’ve come up through the middle and unleased on the pasty white bastards. Oh yeah and that big tall prick from France with the beard that looks like a mountain goat, Chabon. I’d rip his hair out and use it as a wig.
So you see being sent by a referee against the All blacks as good?
Yes I do. John Eales had a good send off to an all blacks match too. He retired. Fancy a lock kicking the ball.
I can see you still have a bit of a passion for the game then?
Not really no. It took me around the world, and gave me an outlook on other cultures, however writing is my passion. I think in prose, I dream in prose, I even make love to prose.
Can you talk to me about your next project?
Of course I can. It’s a situation comedy about a Rugby club called “Jesus Can’t Play Rugby.”It’s based on the famous Rugby Song. Its focus’ is on modern day amateur club Rugby and the trials and tribulations which they encounter. They are in the middle of being forced to turn professional by the governing board, they haven’t won a comp in 30 years so they enlist the help of an Argentinean named ‘Jesus,’ to come and play for them. For the uneducated in Spanish Jesus is pronounced “hey Zeus.” It’s pretty piss funny, the whole script is funny as shit.
I can see you’re excited. I guess that’s your plug so I guess that’s time to wrap things up. Thanks very much Peter, It’s been a pleasure.
Maybe we could catch up again?
Maybe.
Promise?
Put Your pinky down, I promise.
Ah, Hi Peter, you certainly are a hard man to get hold of?
That’s what the wife says Hornet. You know my nick name in France was “baguette de pain rassis.”
Is that French?
Yes, I just said that. it means the Stale Baguette. It’s because after a few days over there they found I went hard.
OK, I’m sure that’s what it meant. Did the baguette come with cheese?
Of course not, I was cheese free in France. I’ve never been into dairy really. Growing up on an orange farm, we pretty much had orange juice to replace milk. Dad even made us have orange juice on our oranges for breakfast.
That’s right; you grew up on an orchard in Peats Ridge. What was it like for you to grow up knowing you had a ridge named after you?
Firstly it was an orange farm, it was hard, I started working on it when I was 5, dad made me get a real job when I was 12 at the servo as I was picking 2 and eating one. Also Contrary to what people think Peats ridge wasn’t named after me. My name was actually Patrick but Dad changed it because of the jokes that the boys would say to me at school.
Really, what were they?
I’d rather not say. Old demons.
Come on let me know?
You know the old joke about Patrick Fitzsimons and Simon Fitzpatricks. The one about the two gay Irishmen. Back then people didn’t realise and they probably still don’t that the name Fitzsimons is a proud one and originates from the Strongbow invasion. It’s patronymic. And the Fitz means son of.
I see. Is that why Mike Carlton didn’t take to you straight away, being related to Strongbow?
No, the reason Mike Carlton didn’t take to me is because he was probably worried that I was a little more articulate than him. You’d have to ask him but we had a good relationship in the end. Alan Jones was flogging us though. Sure he bragged about it, but it’s not the first time he’s bragged about flogging two men. But hey, I live my life and do what makes me happy, don’t know if he totally does.
Sure. Getting back to your Childhood, you attended Knox Grammar. What was it like?
Like most people that went there I am gracious to my family for working so hard to get me there. I had worked a t a petrol station since I was 12 so I paid for my books. It was surprising though to see when I got there that they fed the boys a lot of oranges, so it was just like home.
Later on in Life you went on to represent Australia in test match Rugby. Was Rugby what you lived for?
Ironically the teachers at Knox had instilled in me that this had better be my focus. I was in the dramatic society but the only thing dramatic about me was that I was over six foot, hairy on my face and already thinning on the top. Some teachers even said I couldn’t write, however, the letters I wrote to my mother, to tell her I missed her, where the inspiration that started me on my journey to get to where I am today. I didn’t really live for it, however I am proud that I could have gone toe to toe with 15 all blacks with the referee sending me off citing my play as “too dangerous.” I’d love to play with the pussies that play these days.
Pussies? Who would you consider being a pussy in World Rugby today?
The entire South African team is one. They may be big, but they are simply bullies. You can’t run without a head. Rocky Elsom, is one. Anyone with a name Rocky better know how to shape up to me. The English front row. Why they harp on about their scrum is a mystery to me. I would’ve come up through the middle and unleased on the pasty white bastards. Oh yeah and that big tall prick from France with the beard that looks like a mountain goat, Chabon. I’d rip his hair out and use it as a wig.
So you see being sent by a referee against the All blacks as good?
Yes I do. John Eales had a good send off to an all blacks match too. He retired. Fancy a lock kicking the ball.
I can see you still have a bit of a passion for the game then?
Not really no. It took me around the world, and gave me an outlook on other cultures, however writing is my passion. I think in prose, I dream in prose, I even make love to prose.
Can you talk to me about your next project?
Of course I can. It’s a situation comedy about a Rugby club called “Jesus Can’t Play Rugby.”It’s based on the famous Rugby Song. Its focus’ is on modern day amateur club Rugby and the trials and tribulations which they encounter. They are in the middle of being forced to turn professional by the governing board, they haven’t won a comp in 30 years so they enlist the help of an Argentinean named ‘Jesus,’ to come and play for them. For the uneducated in Spanish Jesus is pronounced “hey Zeus.” It’s pretty piss funny, the whole script is funny as shit.
I can see you’re excited. I guess that’s your plug so I guess that’s time to wrap things up. Thanks very much Peter, It’s been a pleasure.
Maybe we could catch up again?
Maybe.
Promise?
Put Your pinky down, I promise.
The Peter Fitzsimons Chronicles part 1.
Finding Peter. Part 1
The Green Hornet has continuously tried to defend himself from his critics claiming that he relies on the same old jokes. These pundits are rivals who I would normally disregard. The other 'rivals' out there don't even come close to my top 100. My top 3 rivals are Peter Fitzsimons, Reporter and Author. James Gardner, Newcastle Herald Patriarch and Batman.
Rivalry, in my case, is born from jealousy. It is part of my genetic make up to be green, much like it is part of a twenty dollar whores make up to be tacky. It is rare that two great rivals ever get to meet, let alone work together. Peter Fitzsimons is one rival which has afforded me the time to get an insight on his success.
As I found out It wasn’t just a case of calling him though.Trying to get to Peter was a task in itself. His manager John Fordham, a Merewether Carlton old boy, looked like the obvious link. When the Hornet approached Mr. Fordham initially, the receptionist from his office informed me John was, “Out to Lunch with Mr. Laws.” It was 9:15am. The next morning I a little earlier at 8:15am. “Haven’t you seen the daily telegraph?”
Aghast I told the young lady “No, I only read broadsheet.” The Hornet didn’t read tabloids? Keeping this thought to myself, I went out to the local Newsagent. Keeping my sunglasses and hat on, I paid the lady. It was in loose change. I didn’t want to waste my gold ones for a third rate paper that would make even battered fish taste bad. “Ricky Stewart spits dummy at passing child. Fordham cleans up mess.” This Mr. Fordham was a tricky man to catch. The Merewether Carlton old boys’ network was not working. I would have to try another old boys club.
Walking into Knox Grammar was a little daunting. I was dressed, disguised actually, as Hugh Jackman. Hugh was a former old boy of the school. My time as a yardman at Oxford had trained me well for the pomp and circumstance which was to be expected at such an exclusive school. The old man at the front desk of the old boys club merely nodded at me. He was well tailored. He then blinked five times at me in an exaggerated fashion. This was obviously the secret blink. I obligingly blinked back in the code that held the Knox boys together as one. Dressed as Hugh, I was just another old boy. Better looking than most of the old boys, but an old boy all the same. He took me down to meet John Cotti.
We exchanged the usual pleasantries and did the secret handshake, which was similar to that of the freemasons. “John, I need some help.”
“Of course, anything for you Hugh.” He stared straight at me.
“I have a new play coming up, and I’d like to use Peter Fitzsimons in it.” Bewilderment crossed his face. I had never seen a man look as confused as this since Godwin Grech had been told he had to be committed. “I need his contact details.”
“Are you sure?” I couldn’t understand what was wrong with my request. “From all reports he was a fine speaker but his drama teachers have written that he had absolutely no talent at all for acting. Once again Mr Jackman - Are you quite sure?”
“Sure, of course I’m sure. Apparently he was no good at English either. Look at him now.” There it was. No sooner had I spoken these words, the number was written down on a Knox letterhead, with a Knox pen, by a Knox old boy. Yes, I stole the pen on my way out.
Introducing myself to Peter Fitzsimons was my next challenge. It seemed he had become a little deaf after all those years packing scrums. With the repetitions of “Who? Who are you? Who is this?” Being spoken to me down the other end of the line it was obvious Peter couldn’t hear who I was. My next action was to email Peter.
Within hours of electronically sending my introductory letter, Peter replied. It was a little confusing for me to understand his short hand. It was the line “We’ll meet at Sydney, Grammar is hopeless, needs fixing, work on It.” That had me stumped. Did Fitzsimons think I needed work and he was getting me a job at Sydney Grammar? I sent back an email querying his motives to meet me. He confirmed in no uncertain terms that I was a bloody idiot. I told him that he was the one that was putting commas in the wrong place and his teachers at Knox were indeed right. We agreed that in fact he was correct and that I was in fact privileged to be interviewing him.
So here we are. Or here I am sitting in a swanky cafe in Sydney. Peter is running late. I guess that goes with being a stay at home dad. As he pulls up he looks rather bullish, he pulls the chair out like he was pulling a guy off in a ruck. He lays down the law for the interview. “Right, no Bullshit. Straight questions, and publish it in question and answer format. Oh and I’m allowed one plug at the end of the interview. Begin.” I guess this signalled the start of the Green Hornets interview with my rival Peter Fitzsimons.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wayne Baggs - A guide to finishing second.
The Green Hornet has had the pleasure of catching up with perennial second place getter Wayne Baggs. While having coached the University team to a swathe of second places, Baggs has never actually won anything, and has definitely taken the Merewether Carlton attitude of the late nineties to early on in the millennium over to Callaghan. Mediocrity is a key ingredient to the formula Baggs laid down to me before taking a one week sabbatical to go fishing.
Some around Merewether and University say it is a case of Baggs not being able to face his demons. Baggs told the hornet that around this time each year he gets a problem with tapeworm. Instead of killing the nasty things off, He lures them out of an orifice with a piece of meat, to use as bait. Apparently the Barra love them.
Mr Second Place, what is the first thing to do when you want a team to be coached to second?Hornet, you have to look at what the second thing to do to come second is. Theres no point looking at the first thing, it needs to be disregarded. All the focus must be on second.
What do you do then, when you have a team that wants to come first? Easy, pick a team of under achievers, of guys who want to come second.
I see. How do you gauge a players ability to come second? Its pretty easy over here at University. We probably have the thickest team in the competition now that Easts are out. All the smart guys going to uni actually play for other clubs, they are real winners. The guys here that attend uni really don't want to work. That shows to me they have a lack of motivation and a lack of a will to win. So I will always pick a non worker over a working student.
Yeah right, What about other players, that do actually work but play for you? A couple of good examples is young Wynny, hes a failed politician. He couldn't cut it so hes nearly always first picked.
you guys have had a couple of good wins against the top sides this year. Does this worry you at all that you may not come second or lower? Firstly, the goal is always second never lower, were always disappointed with 3rd or 4th. Secondly, I'm not to worried about the wins against Carlton or Hamilton. I've put in a couple of contingencies to combat those wins by bringing Todd Mcdean over. Waratah has a really bad culture at the moment and Mcdean is a player on a big downhill slope, so I got him over. I've always seen him as overrated as have most astute judges in the comp. Its working quite well, TmcD has had a positively negative influence on the side. Second place is still the goal.
Do you aim to come second in the minor premiership, if you do, you've missed that one? no, not really, its secondary to the major premiership so I'm happy with 4th.
Is this one of the hardest years to come second? Definitely. With Wanderers, Hamilton and Carlton all in front of us, it will be a massive effort to make the Grand Final and lose by at least 20.
Do you think each team has any passengers and if so would you like to poach any of them for your side? Not so much passengers but I would like to see kevil in my team. He's bonkers and probably would cost us a grand final. O'brien from Hamilton would be another I would like to see play next to TmcD. It would be good to see them walking around the field side by side. Any one of the Delores could play for us. They have a good reputation but are really, really average. Possibly Adam Perkins, hes won a few Anderson medals, but he has been a standout in an under performing team for the last 5-8 years. If he proved he was good enough I'd have to drop him to seconds. Oh and I saw Blake Creighton miss a goal on full time the other week against Hamilton, I'd like to have him kicking for me in the GF no questions about that.
Finally, What is your game plan, you're down by 2 with 5 minutes to go. Your team gets a penalty 30 out in front of the sticks? Easy, I tell Dave Kennedy to kick the goal. I'm assuming he will kick it, which puts us up by one. I then dance around like we've won the thing, which is funny to see as i look like Gimley from the lord of the rings when I get excited, then I make wholesale changes with our colts - not our second graders in key positions. I know these kids are definitely not up to the task and they would have already been knocked out the previous week. The opposition team sees this and runs a few big men at them. They make ground and score on the bell. I throw my clipboard down in utter disgust, waving my hands around, then consoling the boys when the whistle blows. Its quite easy really.
What do you say to James Gardiner when he gets the exclusive after game report? I never put blame on myself or my coaching. I'll probably blame the fact that the mid semester break is coming up and the boys weren't totally focused. Personally though I'd rather speak to Goffet.
Thanks Coach Baggs, Its been a real pleasure talking to Mr. Second Place.
Some around Merewether and University say it is a case of Baggs not being able to face his demons. Baggs told the hornet that around this time each year he gets a problem with tapeworm. Instead of killing the nasty things off, He lures them out of an orifice with a piece of meat, to use as bait. Apparently the Barra love them.
Mr Second Place, what is the first thing to do when you want a team to be coached to second?Hornet, you have to look at what the second thing to do to come second is. Theres no point looking at the first thing, it needs to be disregarded. All the focus must be on second.
What do you do then, when you have a team that wants to come first? Easy, pick a team of under achievers, of guys who want to come second.
I see. How do you gauge a players ability to come second? Its pretty easy over here at University. We probably have the thickest team in the competition now that Easts are out. All the smart guys going to uni actually play for other clubs, they are real winners. The guys here that attend uni really don't want to work. That shows to me they have a lack of motivation and a lack of a will to win. So I will always pick a non worker over a working student.
Yeah right, What about other players, that do actually work but play for you? A couple of good examples is young Wynny, hes a failed politician. He couldn't cut it so hes nearly always first picked.
you guys have had a couple of good wins against the top sides this year. Does this worry you at all that you may not come second or lower? Firstly, the goal is always second never lower, were always disappointed with 3rd or 4th. Secondly, I'm not to worried about the wins against Carlton or Hamilton. I've put in a couple of contingencies to combat those wins by bringing Todd Mcdean over. Waratah has a really bad culture at the moment and Mcdean is a player on a big downhill slope, so I got him over. I've always seen him as overrated as have most astute judges in the comp. Its working quite well, TmcD has had a positively negative influence on the side. Second place is still the goal.
Do you aim to come second in the minor premiership, if you do, you've missed that one? no, not really, its secondary to the major premiership so I'm happy with 4th.
Is this one of the hardest years to come second? Definitely. With Wanderers, Hamilton and Carlton all in front of us, it will be a massive effort to make the Grand Final and lose by at least 20.
Do you think each team has any passengers and if so would you like to poach any of them for your side? Not so much passengers but I would like to see kevil in my team. He's bonkers and probably would cost us a grand final. O'brien from Hamilton would be another I would like to see play next to TmcD. It would be good to see them walking around the field side by side. Any one of the Delores could play for us. They have a good reputation but are really, really average. Possibly Adam Perkins, hes won a few Anderson medals, but he has been a standout in an under performing team for the last 5-8 years. If he proved he was good enough I'd have to drop him to seconds. Oh and I saw Blake Creighton miss a goal on full time the other week against Hamilton, I'd like to have him kicking for me in the GF no questions about that.
Finally, What is your game plan, you're down by 2 with 5 minutes to go. Your team gets a penalty 30 out in front of the sticks? Easy, I tell Dave Kennedy to kick the goal. I'm assuming he will kick it, which puts us up by one. I then dance around like we've won the thing, which is funny to see as i look like Gimley from the lord of the rings when I get excited, then I make wholesale changes with our colts - not our second graders in key positions. I know these kids are definitely not up to the task and they would have already been knocked out the previous week. The opposition team sees this and runs a few big men at them. They make ground and score on the bell. I throw my clipboard down in utter disgust, waving my hands around, then consoling the boys when the whistle blows. Its quite easy really.
What do you say to James Gardiner when he gets the exclusive after game report? I never put blame on myself or my coaching. I'll probably blame the fact that the mid semester break is coming up and the boys weren't totally focused. Personally though I'd rather speak to Goffet.
Thanks Coach Baggs, Its been a real pleasure talking to Mr. Second Place.
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