Hornet Hive 2011.

The season is only a couple of days away. After being banished last year by the executives that run the NHRU competition so smoothly and competently, I have searched far and wide for a new meaning in life, but continually find myself coming back to this competition. Unable to get a spot in anything with any credibility, the hornet, encouraged by followers far and wide is back for 2011.However, the chance of me missing this season is about as rare as a female rugby player missing her period.

If anything, from all reports last year, the competition got stronger. Three teams out of Ten were actually competitive last year, instead of two. The rest of the teams, from all reports, were as useful as that wind tower on Kooragang Island. It was no surprise to see Merewether Carlton choke again, but at least they weren't choking on sausages in Dan Becketts back yard after a dramatic fall from grace from the year before. However, this year, its more serious. Apparently, the NHRU has now gone "Professional."

This year, has already started off with more controversy than a Tinkler takeover, or lead posioning at Disneyland. There are new coaches, new players, new teams and new love, spreading through the competition. Empires are being built. So here is how the hornet hive sees the 2011 competition season transgressing. A season that not only showcases talented footballers, but the elitism of clubs with money and connections.

1. Maitland - With the Runchel brothers, John and Jona, alongside Samwise from the lord of the rings heading up the best pack of forwards in the competition, Maitland have developed a formula which is the exact opposite of e=mc2. They have the ability to stand still, while look like they are moving forward, starving their backline of possession, but retaining the ball. There is no way to combat this strategy in the competition, and it is a direct copycat of Hamiltons game plan, but better. They are as boring as the black and white they play in, but get the job done. It makes it hard for the 3rd best Maltese player in the competition to ignite his stale backline.Rumour has it that the club also makes about 100K per week on selling Bundaburg Rum cans to the local rednecks and slappers.In the current fiscal climate that the new NHRU operates in, they have enough cash to keep their players happy, retaining most of the squad from last year.

2. Hamilton - With 20 of the first 15 players worn out from the representative season, Nathan Beckett will find it hard to get them motivated at the start of the year. Director of coaching Blubba Coleman will combat that by holding "information" sessions outside of normal coaching days to get the team firing, he will run them through drills, plays, and team selections, to make sure they fire on game day, where he has bought himself a members ticket right next to the coaches box. They also have the luxury of being supported by the catholic church, making them very well funded to import players from various archipelago's off Australia.

3. Merewether Carlton - Stacey Sykes is the new coach of Carlton. Just ask him. They will come first in the regular season, but have they bought in enough talent to cover the choke factor. By promising Bell a sevens competition in the off season, Sean Rudder and Dan Kevil investment accounts - to the tune of 150K each, Jamie Lind a squash court in his back yard, Dan Lewinski a foot in height, Jay Strachan a mini pig and Blake Creighton flights home for important games, are they spending there money wisely? Who knows if they will fit in, coach included? Stacey Sykes is smart though - hes won a couple of premierships - He has even employed the services of Pete Ryan to merewetherise him, swapping boat shoes for thongs, Slacks for boardies, and lemon juice for the blonde tips.

4. Waratah - Matt chidgey is back pulling the strings with two of the NHRU stalwarts Sefo Aloiso and Lolo Mohu. If anyone is aware on how to hand out stacks of cash its WRC, they invented it. They have kept their playing roster quiet, but apparently it includes two former crusaders, a brumby, an Australian RAAF rep not on steroids. It sounds like the pokies are paying again on Station Street, the meats free, and nobody is paying rent.

5. Nelson Bay - Nelson Bay Rugby Club have been building a lot quicker than than the local councils plans to redevelop the sleepy fishing village. Its probably the worst road trip of the competition, as its neither here nor there. With Shane Lolota resigning with the club, he has brought the average age down to 32. They are the only team sanctioned to use unlimited interchange and pure oxygen from the sideline. Their sponsorship deals with the Japanese whalers make them the fifth richest side in the competition, although local fisherman are outraged.

6. Southern Beaches - If any one can tame the young boys out at beaches its Tim Chidgey. His love for turning boys into men would make Alan Jones proud. He has the best record of any of the current coaches and will seriously fight it out with Nelson Bay for fifth spot. He will no longer have to juggle coaching and rep duties, just balls at training, so it could be a good season for the beaches boys. Its unfortunate that to make the top 5 clubs need money and contacts though.The sporties is broke, and the only decent contacts with any money south of charlestown are Ice Dealers - even the NHRU would see through that.

7. University - To many holidays for these guys this year to compete seriously in the NHRU's new dawning age of professionalism. In this era, in local rugby its a shame that amatuer clubs with a penchant for coming second, will not even fulfill that potential. Perpetual students have moved on, coaches have stood down, even Nathan Foreshore lost his scholarship in Nutrition. Their only saving grace is that they are sponsored by one of Australia's leading contractors, Abigroup, who pour as much money into the club as Ray Nelson does out of his back pocket.

8.Singleton - Four on, Four off, Four on, Four off. Stop your whinging. The side hasn't been any good since Campberwell stopped handing out jobs and rosters driving trucks in the mid nineties. Its a shame that some players got mixed up and thought that joining a Rugby Union was the same as joining a trade union and they would have an easy ride, with tuesday, thursday and weekends free. Those days are long gone, and the clubs with the most money now require teams to train three days a week with the team, gym sessions, recovery sessions, and physio sessions. So even with a good roster, they'll still get smoked by a hundred a couple of times, as they are still living in the nineties.

9. Lake Macquarie - The only reason they are ninth is because they will show more heart than the team below them. They could forfeit every game against the poons and still finish above them.

10. Wanderers - Its a shame to see a former glory club deflated. Over their last two years, their two best players, Monty Simes, and Dan Kevil have left the club. One has even gone on to greener pastures. They seem to have lost all their money and contacts with the GFC two years ago. Beckett has no more bricks to carry, or, bluntly put, starfish to lick. While the price of land in Merewether rises exponentially, they are left calling Cooks Hill a home. There is no actual Hill in Cooks Hill, and there is no use in Wandering. Get out now while the going is bad, Merewether is full, but maybe lake Macquarie and Southern Beaches could use some players.

There we have it. How the competition will unfold. The Hornet Hive believes that paying players in the local competition so transparently is the way forward. In the past clubs like Wanderers, Singleton and Waratahs have tried to do it in the dark. This approach taken by the NHRU of allowing players to be poached is a positive step forward for the game. No other club has done their recruiting better than Merewether Carlton this year. A club who looks after its players, and builds on success. Personally, myself and Mike Rabbit hope they win the competition, and last time I looked we were the two most knowledgable commentators in the NHRU - apart from Stacey sykes guest commentry stint for the Grand final last year.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, particualy on the makeup of the competition. Remember, we play the game for fun, so take this blog however you want. The Green Hornet mantle has been passed on to me by its previous owner. There are two new reporters added to the Hornet Hive. One is Tony Allen Gregson, who will be submitting his blogisode "Jesus can't play Rugby" Fortnightly, and the other is Kenton Foole, with his take on how the competition should be unfolding, administered and run. Any problems email greenhornetsnest@gmail.com Cheers. GH