GRAND FINAL DAY - The Match

Merewether Carlton V Wanderers. Having just won five grades, the premier ones, with their backs against the wall, down by seven with 3 to go. They got out of jail in the major semi, can they do it again. Suddenly, a back line movement from deep in there own twenty sees Sam Clifton streak away only to be pulled down ten metres out by the usually slow Luke Simmons. In what looks to be there last shot, Clifton magically pops the ball to Princehorn who is the only forward not out on his feet, this can only be put down to healthy living and good lifestyle choices.

He has no one in front of him, the ten metres to run seems like 100, Simes is chasing him, after being made to look like the french defending the Somme, he is desperate. He grabs Princehorn By the waist, but the momentum of Princehorn takes him over the line, in the corner, with the barest of margins. The green hill, it seems has chased the play toward the line urging him over. Simes is up first. A brain snap? Yes, it seems has kicked princehorn in the head. The crowd which is in the corner, boos and jeers. Al Quaterman, the games new no. 1 whistle blower signals a try. Then a red Card, then a penalty try. The crowd erupts.

Gilmour, who has been shaky with the boot all day, missing 3, is unusually calm. A sledge comes from the token Wanderer on the green hill. He has been giving it to the crowd all day, stirring them like the minestrone soup his mum used to make, his italian fuelled comments have been particularly nasty to Greek boy Bertsos, who after an injury cloud has settled, then lifted his team. Wanderers have played all over Merewether all day, seem to have lost the match.

Gilmour turns to face the sledger."Fifty on it." The crowd hushes.

"Your on mate." Another mistake. As he has done so all year, he is happy to take the money off the wanderer, who now seems as lost as his club with no suburb. Everyone on the hill knows gilmour only kicks well for money. He strolls back casually. Lines the ball up. Strikes it. It is fading away to the right of the far post. The crowd is silent. Miraculously, the swing reverses and shaves the inside of the post. Its shades of Gus in 77.

The ground announcer is drowned out by the noise of the crowd. Its now 27 all, with the penalty to come. Something is wrong with Gilmore. He is clutching his hamstring. Maybe he has caught the condition from Bertsos? He signals that he can't take the kick. Barney McKenzie, the man who has single handily taken the breakdown back, after a poor first half by all the forwards puts his hand up.

With the game in the balance, It was his skills at the breakdown, that willed his forwards to be tough once again. The penalty is in front. Mckenzie pushes Creighton out of the way and grabs the ball. He doesn't quite get these young kids. You can feel that he is of the belief, that if you want something done, do it yourself. He lines it up, end over end. There is no round the corner with this one. It is a toe punt. He strikes it perfectly and it sails over. 30 - 27. Merewether.

The kick off comes to Carlton. Its short and straight to Dan Garner. He hears the siren. He sees the sideline, shapes to kick. He dummies and makes a beeline for the sideline. His body, looking like it has been stung by a bee, gets him there. His captaincy inspirational, by not backing his ability with ball to boot he has won his second Grand Final. The fence is broken as 20 000 Carlton supporters rush the field. Its six from six. Its unbelievable. Its a fairytale.

Feel free to comment on how you see the game panning out.Will Simes really have a brainsnap, or will it be Kevil? Will gilmore miss his kicks, who knows. Will Carltons forwards turn up all match, or will Aston be aclimatised to a 30 degree day and make his men show up? In any case it should be an unbelievable day. Here are the official teams.

Wanderers
1. Simon Yanis - Sounds more like the fourth tenor than an Rugby player. The heat will help him lose even more weight.
2. Nick Watson - "Dildo" must think about his lineouts before his nickname.
3. Nick Crosskill - Will he be wearing his bra today?
4. Rhys hitchcock - A good Wanderers name, however, he is a bit of a mystery
5. Luke Gibson - Good breeding, will be looking to do it for Jack.
6. Rob Aston - Where does a Pom keep his wallet? Under the soap. Lets just hope he showers after a day in the heat, which he hates. Will turn from transperant to red. Hope he takes his brick.
7. Corey te Koeti - Surprised to see the trophey for most Anderson medal points was named after him
8. Dan kevil - "Please come and play Dan, you could have been great." Those were the words that wooed the loose cannon back to the game by coach Beckett(nee Thompson)
9. Warren Randell - His favourite ball is the 'worm burner,' It was also coach Thompson's(nee Beckett's)
10. Julian Morton - The worst kept secret. Nice guy Julian Morton is set to add experience to a young back line.
11. Montgomery Simes II - Can be Volitile. Will probably lose the match.
12. Scott Herman - Tony Hermans cousin is also overated. he even runs the same.
13. Gideon Lambrchts -????
14. Luke Simmons - Possibly the slowest winger in the competition
15. Paul Mlotkowski - From the rich part of Poland. He can run, and is the most dangerous in this backline.

Merewether Carlton
1. Dylan Evans - The 19 year old bully,, has satisfied the quota for Merewether Carltons "two ginga per team" system
2. Dan Garner - Taken over the captaincy and arse from Jamie Lind. Done a fine job at both.
3. Josh Gain - "Metres" gained will benefit from being bald in the humid day.
4. Barney Mackenzie - Wheres the asylum??
5. Eddie Macdonald - The red head was a late comer to the team, contrary to the belief that red heads are double comers.
6. Rowan Garner - Looks slow but thinks quick.
7. Adam Princhorn - The cleanskin enjoys a healthy lifestyle and has recently commited to jode roaches no carbs after dark diet.
8. Lucas Dubyk - The German will be going after the pole.
9. James Bertsos - Hopefully will be the second "Jimmy the Greek" to win a premiership with Carlton.
10. Sam Gilmore - The former nemesis of Hamilton, can now be the nemesis of Wanderers. Has never lost a Grand Final while on the field
11.Brodie Duncan - Comes in for Billy coffee who has pulled a bicep. They are massive.
12. Mick Gill - Unfortunately Aiden Kelso has taken up a post working for Unicef in Sudan.
13. Jay Strachan - This kid is full of himself. Why not, he is a bumblebee at heart.
14. Sam Clifton - He is on Ben Finnies weights program. Will dominate with size.
15. Blake Creighton - How he gets away from playing the AFL kid on Neighbours to play Rugby is amazing.