Blubba Coleman - a candid interview.

The style of this interview has been changed to simple question and answer format for a few of my critics who have complained on the style of Jayson Strachan's true account of growing up. Scott 'blubba' Coleman has given me full permission to report his comments this way. Thanks.

Hi, Scott how are you?
Good thanks Hornet. My you are Green aren't you?

Yes Scott, that's why my name is the green hornet.
Ahh..

Anyway, first things first, i have done a little research and heard you grew up around the south West rocks area?
Well, that's sort of true, but I was actually born in Seal Rocks on a camping trip, I wasn't due, but then again I wasn't due for a premiership last year either. My other brothers were born in the surf club at Southy.

I see.
Yeah, thats how I got the nickname blubba, from the seals. Everyone though these days has dropped the L which is due to the fact I had learning difficulties as a child and couldn't spell that well. I had to wear those pink glasses for a while. So in fact hornet you have been right all along.

That's interesting because I thought it was the weight?
No. no, I actually drop weight quite easily. Its my brother Matt who struggles with that.

Is it true in rep season, Tim chidgy asked you to get liposuction?

Yeah it is true, I was already quite skinny, but I guess thats when the blubba taunts came back, but people didn't know it was from being born near seals as well. Tim had this crazy idea that the rep team could star in a personal calender for his office at Waratah as a memento. He wanted me to trim up even more.I think he knew he had fooled the NHRU and didn't have the proper credentials, thats probably why he wanted me in the team come to think of it because of my coaching skills. The calender was a little creepy though.

Where did you find the desire to start coaching, was it from a young age?
Definitely my older brother Darryl,thats his real name, he is my hero, my idol. I used to go around mimicking him until I was about 21. It was hard with my littlest brother grub always craving attention. he was a funny kid, always trying to take me out with a high shot to show to darryl he was the toughest of us all.

Yeah right was there anyone else?
Probably Danny Maiva as well. I played under him at the now defunct Wildfires.He was the one that gave me the contacts in NZ, Tonga and Samoa. Although I think he sold me a bit of a dummy there as only Va has been any good. Hes a cagey character. Whale is also another guy, he gives me a lot of advice and it works well.

Well blubba and the Whale would. You have been quoted a lot this year as saying you can go back to back is this still indicative of your thoughts?
The only back to back I've been thinking about at the moment is when Trav climbes in to bed with me. I make him sleep back to back. I have a cold house.To be honest with you though guys like Mark O'brien have to step up a little, he's living on his laurals a little.We have a South African guy as well who goes quite well, but with Va lending me his right knee ligament in ground breaking surgery, he'll be playing seconds come semi final time.

Is it true you view Sam Gilmour as your bogey player?
Yes. He came to club bubba once and put a hex on he had learnt from his father when he toured the Caribbean with the Aussie cricket team.We haven't been the same, but it explains why the house is always cold.

You have your own club?
Yeah its a night club. I was forced to open it as I get pretty sloppy when I'm drunk. It wasn't a good look and being a coach I have a lot of people look up to me. Big Dog told me he had been going around to Club Selwyn for quite some time, the night club owned by your former club captain Paul Hughes. I thought it was a good idea and decided to steal it.

Stolen a few things from Carlton haven't you?
If you mean the Hawthorn cup and a premiership. yes.

You haven't won yet though, and I thought you lost the Cup to us this year?
I meant last year. Having watched the video again, maybe there was a knock on in there somewhere. Big dog loves Merewether so much he wanted to bring it over and drink with you guys. I encourage inter club spirit. That's one thing surely we have got.

I must say from what I've heard, merewether would rather hang out with you than wanderers, waratah, Maitland, beaches and even Singleton.
Hang out of you don't you mean?

I don't know is it what you mean, maybe being associated with the catholic system thats how you kids still do things?
Well honestly,the only thing that has kept me in the job is that i am a carpenter. So was jesus.

One Last Question. What does make a good coach?
I'm a student of the game, always have been. However I have been supported quite well through my tenure with some good people around me. Its always a good feeling to see guys like tom shannon learn how to pass from the ground and let female players like Torrie have a crack at premier grade. I think I see things that others don't. Who knows, maybe the old boys are right, maybe I am Jesus.

Thanks Scott. You are a true pro.