Everyone in Newcastle Rugby knows that the competition doesn't necessarilly start on round one. It starts when the secrative illuminati style organisation, the Hawthorne club meet and gather at Wests Leagues Club between rounds one and three. This is where the fate of the competition is decided.Yes, the club does brilliant work, raising funds for local rugby and charities such as the Westpac Helicopter.
It is behind the scenes where this elite group do the most damage. After being shown the charter of 1972, the Hornet has gathered a list of pre determined results, which I am scared to leak, for fear of repurcussions. The list succesfully predicts every result bar one. The 2007 Grand Final, won by Jimmy the Greek and Dennis Shaw was supposed to go to Hamilton. How the greens got over the line for that year is beyond even my reckoning, however I suspect some back door dealings by the Greek saw them succeed.
The charter also goes on to describe and predict the great club switch of 2011, saying that " A sea of blue will switch allegiences to the oceans original colour." if you think that prediction is eerie, the charter also has set out these predictions:
"Where the Bell bangs, is not where the Bell sounds."
"a woman from the country will lead the new beggining."
"A man will step aside, but not into the background."
"The beast will rise again in Red."
"A banished coach will touch boys hearts."
The list of predictions goes on, and these ones I have presented have already been proven true. As I have already stated, I am bound to silence on any future predictions. I can however disclose that the predetermined competition will be won by a team that no one expects.
The HC, on friday the 8th April, will again wow the local rugby fraternity with a great guest speaker in Robbie Deans. The rumours have been flying that the HC have captured Deans against his will. we will only know this if we see the beads of sweat rolling from the chin as he is asked about grass roots rugby. As you watch the great Robbie Deans and are whisked away by his funny accent and one syllable words, please don't frorget that the men scattered around the room are behind this. They own you. They own us. They probably even own Wests.
Round 1 Preview
Match of the Round: Hamilton V Merewether
A true battle of the minds. The calm and collected Blubba Coleman, and the emotional Stacey Sykes. Make no mistakes, Merewether Carlton have a lot of improving to do if they are to upset 2010 premiers Hamilton Hawks.If Sykes assistant staff can keep him calm, it will be an interesting battle. Blubba will try and beat the greens through the middle, and Carlton showed they are capable of leaking points, letting through 16 points against southern beaches. Thats 16 more than they let through in the entire first round last year. If Hamilton can score 35 points, they will win. If not, book sykes in to get his tear ducts removed as Carlton may go through undefeated.
Score: 37 - 35 Hamilton
Lake Macquarie V Maitland
Maitland were terrible last week, but with 20 players for three grades plus a colts team, Lake Macquarie were discraceful, and probably should be asked to either merge with a club or leave the competition. Maitland tried to play a wide game last week, after strong critisism from their sleepy style of Rugby. This week they will stick to what they know and grind out a win to get them back on track for the season. Matt Jarrett will need to bring his beanie - even the back row will be able to fossick for lead, while the tight 5 bring it home.
Score: 12-0 Maitland
Singleton V Southern Beaches
This will be another close match. Two mediocre teams, who gave good showings in the first round. Beaches are very well drilled by Tim Chidgey. Very well drilled. While Singleton seem to of regained some flair, which has eluded them under previous coaches. Both teams have got smart playmakers, big forwards and a good style of play to suit. This could be the defining match for sixth spot on the ladder.However I think its four on this week, so Singleton will lose. Just.
Score: 23 - 20 Southern Beaches.
University V The Waratahs
The university players turned up for class last week, however its class that will get them this weekend. While the Waratahs have an aging pack, they are still smarter than the students. Which gives me great dismay toward our tertiary education system. University will not be able to rely on goalkicking hero, "Snow Plough" Snowden this weeks, as they probably won't even get into Waratahs half.
Score: 55 - 0 Waratah
Nelson Bay V Wanderers
Good luck Nelson Bay!!!
Score: 189 - 0 Nelson bay.
Feel free to comment below. Most of you may have noticed that the comments have been moderated to actual comments about rugby. Personally I'd like to publish sledges about peoples mothers, sisters etc, however, there are some precious people out there, so unfortunatley now the section is moderated. Look for next weeks episode of Jesus can't pla rugby too. Cheers GH.
Friday, April 8, 2011
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